Should I be worried that Ben is his most active around oh... 3 in the morning? We're not just talking the usual stretching, kicking, punching that I feel during the day. I'm talking full-on acrobatics ... After he's born, I will not be surprised if I go into the nursery to check on him at this time of the morning and find him hanging upside down from his mobile laughing hysterically!

I've never had a pet political issue, and I've never wanted a pet political issue. In fact, I would rather beat my head against a wall than talk politics. But I can't ignore this particular problem. First, some background.

I found out on Monday that my doctor was withdrawing from all insurance plans because she is simply NOT getting paid enough to allow her to pay her consistently rising malpractice premiums and still stay in practice. This is the first I had ever really heard (or more likely, paid attention to) this problem.

I am saddened by this situation... especially after reading her letter to her patients and after seeing her once a month for almost 8 months now. I know she cares deeply about what she does. Delivering babies and taking care of women is her life. It must be such a hard decision to give that up. But the current state of the insurance industry leaves her no choice.

I have since learned that this is an increasingly common problem. There was an ad in this week's Towson Times from another OB/GYN in Timonium who shutting her practice down for this very same reason. The first article below is about her. The other one is about how doctors are trying to fight back.

Article #1

Article #2

Here's a website where you can contact your representatives to help change the current insurance/malpractice laws.

This all comes down to the greed of large insurance companies and lawyers. I was horrified to find out that Blue Cross/Blue Shield/Carefirst is one of the worst offenders. According to my OB, they haven't changed what they are willing to pay her in reimbursements since 1993! And yet, her malpractice premium last year went up to $90,000!!! It's absolutely ridiculous! First doctors are forced to close their practices... the next stage is the quality of medical care is going to suffer substantially!

Please take some time to learn about this issue because it's only a matter of time before it affects you too, particularly if you are a woman. Obstetrics and Gynecology are among the lowest compensated specialities in medicine!

:: stepping off soap box ::

Days until my due date (3/25): 56
Days until my wishful thinking due date (3/18): 49
Days until Ben can officially be evicted safely (3/4):35
Days I have been pregnant: 224
Comfort level (on a scale of 1(comfy)- 10(uncomfy): 7

Ben is under some pressure now because his godmother is being shipped off to Texas from March 22nd to the 24th (or somewhere close to that). So now we're REALLY hoping he decides to come a little early so she doesn't miss his arrival. That and, he's measuring a little big, so for my sake, I hope he comes a little early too. So everybody please send me early due date vibes!!! ;)

Here's a pic of me with the "Yayas." at the baby shower.

From left to right: Yaya mom, Yaya Gail, Yaya Val, Me (little Yaya), Yaya Joan, and Yaya Debbie (Ben's very enthusiastic godmother).

I found this poem on one of my pregnancy websites that I visit everyday. I'm thinking of having one of the 3-d ultrasound pictures framed with the poem written on a mat underneath of it. :)

"He smiles and clasps his tiny hand,
with sunbeams o'er him gleaming -
A world of baby fairyland
He visits while he's dreaming.
- Joseph Ashby-Sterry, King of the Cradle

At least, thanks to the recent ultrasound, we now know that Benjamin doesn't have a beard.

Since the ultrasound on Saturday, a lot of people are asking me if I know how accurate the picture is... meaning, I guess, will Benjamin look basically the way the 3-d ultrasound showed him? Well, I don't really know the answer to that question. I assume there are some details the ultrasound didn't let us see... but here's a picture I found of a 3-d ultrasound compared to the newborn baby! It's pretty darn close! The picture came from this website if anyone is interested. :)

We had a doctor's appointment this morning and everything still looks great! The doctor was a teeny bit concerned that I have only gained a pound since the last time she saw me and that I'm not really keeping much food down. But we both agreed that it seems to be something I'm just going to have to live with for the next 8 weeks or so. :( She did however, give me another prescription to try and sent Benjamin, Tom and me on our way.

Sadly, I also learned today that this doctor, due to financial reasons, is no longer participating with any insurance carriers as of April 11th. This means after Benjamin is born, I have to find a new OB. :(

1) Benjamin is MOST definitely a boy.
2) He is head down! (mommy says 'yay!' for this one.)
3) He is face up (mommy says "he better be flipping over sometime before he comes out)
4) We think he has mommy's cleft in his chin.
5) Tom thinks he has a Graff nose. Upon closer examination, I sort of disagree.
6) His head is very round. Epidural please!
7) He makes a lot of funny expressions.
8) He has teeny tiny little lips....
9) ...and BIG chipmunk cheeks.
10) The big round lump that sticks up into my rib cage is a baby butt and the thing that pushes really hard into my hip is probably a fist or a shoulder.

Here's one of our favorites attached below... the rest are linked here as a Shutterfly slide show. Enjoy! :)

Please read this.

Oh and in other news, we woke up this morning to about 2-3 inches of crap a.k.a. snow on the ground. A plow better get through here in the next two hours or the 3-d sonogram will be a total bust! :(

In sad, un-babyrelated news today, I found out that yet another of my childhood television heroes has died. Farewell Captain Kangaroo. :(

I forgot to post about this yesterday! My co-workers surprised me with a baby shower at lunchtime! They are very proud of themselves for managing to keep it a secret from me (at least up until the very last minute or two). People rarely manage to pull one over on me, so they have a right to be proud. ;)

Anyway, they gathered the whole crew and got us a TON of stuff off of the baby registry. Amy was upset that none of it was fun stuff... but believe me I was MORE than thrilled to receive bottles and baby bath.

The whole thing was totally unexpected, especially since two of my co-workers (Krystyna and Linda) were already AT my other baby shower this past Sunday. I really do work with a great group of people. Still trying to come up with an appropriate way to say thank you to all 18 of them at once. :)

Two more days until the ultrasound! I was doing some hunting around on the web to see what Benjamin will look like at his current age (31 weeks). Here's a picture I found. I'm hoping mine turns out a little clearer than this one... but this is still pretty good!

Here's one of my favorites so far, taken by Krystyna's mom... It's my mom and me with the shower favors.

I spent yesterday evening putting away all the gifts from Sunday's baby shower. :) It took about three hours and a lot of trips up and down the stairs but the baby's room is now fully operational and just needs the baby, oh, except for the crib mattress that is still missing, which is becoming sort of a running joke.

The baby now has WAY more clothes than me AND nicer bedroom furniture --I have to admit, I'm a little jealous. Okay, a LOT jealous.

I discovered something interesting yesterday while combing through the statistics for this little bloggy project. This guy linked to me on his blog! That's the first time that's happened, so I thought it was very cool. I've gotten a few random visitors from that link too!

And the last of today's news, mah bebe's daddy is still pretty sick. He swears he's getting a flu shot next year, so at least something good has come from it. He's actually going to the doctor this afternoon, so I KNOW he must be feeling bad. My immune system is holding up so far! Yay me!

Tom has the flu. And it's BAD. In the nine years that I have known him, he's been sick three times ... I have never see him THIS sick though. He says the room is spinning and, at the moment, he can't get off the living room floor. It's a very sad situation. :( I got a flu shot this year and I'm crossing my fingers that the strain of flu he has is one of the ones covered by the shot. So far, I feel fine, so we'll see.

In happier news, today was my baby shower at Miss Joan's house. It was soooo pretty... and I was so happy that all of the family from out of town was able to make it despite some pretty awful weather conditions. Everyone was so generous too... I brought home a mountain of gifts that will take days to sort through and organize. Benjamin is a very lucky little boy to have so many people who already love him!

I'll put some pictures up as soon as someone sends me some! I was too busy to take any!

Apparently a must-have for any home occupied by a newborn. ;)



I'll stick to Desitin and Balmex, thanks. ;)

I read somewhere today that feeling baby's hiccups low in the tummy means the baby is head down! Hooray! That's good news. :)

Our 4-d ultrasound is about a week away and I'm so excited! We'll actually get to see what Ben looks like. (provided, of course that he cooporates).
They also give us a video and some pictures to take home for the baby book.
I know I have devoted much blog space to talking about 3/4-d ultrasounds, but I just think they are the neatest technology. I don't understand why they aren't more widely available, or why most doctors (including my own) don't offer them as standard practice. We have to drive all the way out to Rockville to get ours done and we're paying for it ourselves, it's not covered by insurance. But, it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing...

Our last childbirth class is tomorrow. We're learning all about pain management options. I'll be taking copious notes.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant today. That means that in absolutely NO more than 12 weeks, but hopefully more like 8 - 10 weeks, I won't be pregnant anymore, and more importantly (I guess ;) ), Benjamin will be here. I hope it's not really 12 weeks, because I will NOT be a happy camper.

Our 3-d sonogram is next Saturday, so that's something to look forward to. Other than that, it's just a whole lot of waiting and waddling.

Ben had the hiccups last night and Tom got to feel it. We were trying to get the cats to notice too, but they just don't have the attention span. (heck, I'm lucky TOM stuck around long enough to see my stomach move three or four times) We felt the hiccups really low on my tummy... don't know what that means, but I hope it's further indication that the baby is facing the right direction.

Nothing else new. I just continue to throw up random meals and not gain weight. I'm not upset about the weight gain part. I may as well be getting something positive out of my current state, right?

So I guess that's all for today. Sorry nothing more exciting is going on!

On Pregnancy:
I can't remember not being pregnant. I guess that's a good thing, because if I COULD remember not being pregnant, I'd probably be complaining a lot more than I already am. It's hard to believe that I EVER wore pants with buttons and zippers, or normal-sized shirts. I packed all of those clothes away months and months ago so I wouldn't have to look at them every day. It's also hard to believe I'll ever be the same size I used to be... I'll believe it when I see it.

On Night Feedings:
Tom seems to think he's going to get away without having to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. I hope he's not entirely serious about this. Yes, he does have to go to work and I won't, so I'll be doing most of it... that's fair. But I really want him to have this quiet bonding time with his son.... that, and a full night's sleep for me wouldn't be so bad either.

On Registries:
There is a debate going on on the message board that I read about registries and etiquette. The way I see it, the registry is just a guide. In my ideal world, everyone would shop off the registry, there'd be no duplication and each item would be neatly checked off. (but that's just me, I REALLY like checking off lists)

However, just the fact that someone would be so generous as to want to give us a gift in the first place means a lot and would be met with much appreciation. With a registry though, they at least know what we don't have yet and they can feel like they're giving us something we'll use. There are very few things on the registry that I'm actually picky about ... (big stuff mostly, stroller, carseat...things I researched for safety etc..) and those are things we will purchase for ourselves if we don't get them. The way I see it, people who have been there, done that know better than me what I'm going to need the most anyway.

Baby's Position:
I really think this hard, round thing sticking up into my ribcage is a baby butt or a baby back. More hands-on research is needed before a final conclusion can be reached...

I had my 30-week appointment this afternoon... here's the scoop:

- The doctor is totally unsure whether Ben is feet-first or in blast-off position. This makes me a little nervous. BUT, I'll find out for sure at the 3-d ultrasound next Saturday.

- She gave me a prescription to help with the puking. I haven't decided if I'm going to fill it though because I was reading about the side effects and they include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, sleeplessness and depression. Dude, I'm already puking, why would I want to add diarrhea, sleeplessness and depression to the mix? We'll see... depends how desperate I get.

- I have gained one pound since my last visit. According to her chart, I have gained 21 pounds. Problem is, she doesn't know about the 7 pounds I gained before I ever set foot in her office. ;) I'm going to keep it that way.

- His heartbeat looks good. She was ever so slightly concerned last time because there wasn't very much variability, but today, he performed well. ;) Yay Ben.

...AND the extra fun news is that I have now graduated to the every-two-week program, so my next appointment is on the 26th. Wahoo. That means I am getting ever closer to reclaiming my body. Weeeee!

Yesterday was our second baby class. The main topic of the day was pushing ... I have decided that pushing, like most of the rest of pregnancy, is icky. We watched two birth videos: one of a medicated birth, one of a natural birth. If you ask me, both of them strongly helped the argument for a c-section. And if I have to hear the words "bulging perinium" ever again, Benjamin will be an only child.

The best part of yesterday's class was that we got to take a tour of the Labor and Delivery unit. I think I speak for all the women in the class when I say I was a little disappointed in the Labor, Delivery and Recovery rooms. The description on the website says this: "With homelike labor and delivery and recovery suites, the Family Childbirth Center is designed to make this precious time for new moms as safe and pleasant as possible." Okay, safe maybe, but pleasant? Let's just say that unless your house looks like a Motel 6 with a bed that has a 1/4"-thick matress, they are far from homelike. However, we were all relieved to learn that you only stay there until an hour after you have the baby and then you get moved to the Ritz Carlton (a.k.a. the mother/baby unit)... now THESE rooms are cool. We only got to peek into one that had a door open because there were no vacancies on Saturday.... but WOW... yeah, that's more like it. I guess it's their incentive to the laboring mothers to be efficient with the whole pushing process. ;)

On another topic, I'm still throwing up. Now it's up to multiple times a day, which is great fun. Ten more weeks... ten more weeks. And I will continue to hope that he decides to come a couple weeks early...

Well, this morning I threw up my entire breakfast. What a wonderful way to start the day. I'm a little annoyed at this and feeling quite jipped by the whole pregnancy experience now. Morning sickness was supposed to be over and done with 12 weeks ago. Now Tom and I are headed out the door for a 2-hour car trip and I have to make sure I have plastic bags in case lunch decides to make a reappearance too. I just don't get it. Mind you, my doctor, who hasn't heard much, if any, complaining from me thusfar, will be hearing about this ad nauseum (no pun intended) on Monday afternoon.

Nothing really new to report. The baby has been in the same position for about two weeks now. One unidentifiable limb is sort of lodged under my left rib, another makes its presence known by pushing really hard into my right hipbone. I can't figure out if this means he is head down, feet down, sideways, is doing a split or has four legs.

I've made a mental note to ask the doctor on Monday ... especially about the four legs thing.

Speaking of the doctor, I've gained exactly 1.5 pounds since my last appointment, something I'm proud of. I'm determined to cap this whole pregnancy weight gain thing at 35 pounds, well within the normal range and I've still got 8 more pounds to go before I hit that point, so I'm optimistic.

I went to the library this afternoon out of sheer boredom. Checked out a bunch of pregnancy books. Krystyna made a good point when she asked, "Haven't you read everything there is to read about pregnancy and childbirth?" She's right. I flipped through one of the books and realized I pretty much have the content memorized. The only thing I can do now is just experience it firsthand. I keep wishing there was a way to "practice" this so I know what I'm in for. Oh well.
I take SOME solace in the fact that I've had menstrual cramps so bad in the past that they have driven me to the point of being curled up in a ball, crying and feeling like I'm going to puke.
My experienced co-workers tell me labor before the epidural simply doesn't get much worse than that. So epidural it is. And a.s.a.p. Not that there was ever any question about that.

Benjamin is full-term in 9 weeks. Wouldn't it be nice if he was born then instead of waiting another
2 -4 weeks? I certainly think so, and will be doing everything within my power to try to evict him at 38 weeks. :) I'm on track to being a good mommy already... this is called setting boundaries. ;)

The baby shower is in something like 9 days. I'm really excited to see everyone and see all the work they've all put into this that they've kept hidden from me. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. But it's one of the rare times in my life I really wish I could drink. I hate hate HATE being the center of attention. I hate everyone staring at me. Ick. I got through the wedding shower okay I guess. But then again, I did have a wine cooler and strawberry daquiri before it started -- which is the most alcohol I think I've ever had in one sitting.

At the moment, I'm trying to kill the last hour and a half at work before I get to head off and spend the evening with these very same people. (It's our company holiday party tonight). I'd be looking forward to it more if I weren't so drowsy right now...

Ah well. Time to go uh... kill some more time. Over and out.

I stole this questionnaire from Erin Welsh's blog. And I encourage you to steal it from me!
---------------------------
1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Flew eight times and actually enjoyed it. Oh yeah, and I got pregnant.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. They would only serve to make me feel guilty later in the year when I realize I’ve broken all of them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep. My friend Jen had her son Ryan (Ben’s future best friend) on August 30th. I got to see him six hours after he was born!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
All the ones at EPCOT. ;)

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July15th was the day I found out I was pregnant.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hrm… creating life is right up there. That’s about it though. ;)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Tom and I have been married almost three years and have yet to decide on a church. I feel guilty about this almost every Sunday that goes by… :(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not unless you count my current 9-month "illness."

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think we bought the laptop earlier this year. That thing has been a lifesaver … especially on the aforementioned eight plane rides.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Tom had a really great review at work in July and got more responsibility that he wanted. He loves his job and I’m so proud of him because he’s really great at what he does.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Can’t think of anyone off the top of my head…

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mostly in the savings account or to pay off student loans. We’ve been in one-income practice mode since July.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Three trips to Florida, meeting friends from my fear of flying online group, telling my parents and Tom’s parents that I was pregnant.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
Arms Wide Open – Creed (not because it came out this year, but because of the lyrics)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier, I think. One of the biggest things is that I’m very optimistic about how the baby might have the potential to heal some of the wounds caused by wedding issues that are still hanging around out there.

I feel a sense of peace that everything that is happening right now – the timing of the baby, the baby being a boy… all of it has to do with a divine plan for our lives together.

18. Thinner or fatter?
Do I really need to answer this question? It’s just depressing.

19. Richer or poorer?
Richer, for the moment… until sometime in March.

20. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taken more tummy pictures, gone to the gym.

21. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Thinking I was fat before I got pregnant.

22. How will you be spending Christmas?
See my Christmas post from several days ago.

23. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Yes, with a certain little boy in a black and white sonogram picture.

24. Any one night stands?
What?

25. What was your favorite TV program?
Survivor, Gilmore Girls, Joan of Arcadia. I watch a lot of tv these days.

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not that I can think of.

27. What was the best book you read?
I wish I had time to read.

28. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Marc Cohn

29. What did you want and get?
Pregnant.

30. What did you want and not get?
A new digital camera.

31. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can’t even remember… how sad is that?

32. What did you do on your birthday?
I think I had dinner at my parents’ house one night, and dinner at Tom’s parents’ house another night.

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If Jen had waited for me to try and get pregnant!!! ;)

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Fat clothes, pants with pouches, big shirts.

35. What kept you sane?
Lots of tea.

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Eh, can’t think of anyone really…

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don’t talk politics. Yuck.

38. Who did you miss?
My friend Robert in France. He got a new computer, stopped emailing and dropped off the face of the earth.

39. Who was the best new person you met?
Didn’t really meet anyone new this year!

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.
If you’ve ever thought you were fat, or had a slight little tummy that bothered the heck out of you, get pregnant. You’ll immediately appreciate your old body.

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open…" Creed – Arms Wide Open

Tonight is the full moon and I have read that this can have an interesting effect on pregnancy! (still looking for a good article to link to though). Hospitals report a spike in laboring women on nights when there is a full moon and women who aren't full-term yet report that their babies move around a LOT more than usual on these nights! They don't know why ... probably has to do with the tides or gravity or something... but interesting, eh?

Here is a picture of just three of the various ways women can carry a pregnancy in or around the 7th month. Note how none of these women look particularly happy about their current bodily state. I can sympathize.



I'm curious which one you all think I'm closest to? I think it's either #1 or #2.
Those of you who have seen the tummy I am sporting these days, please vote in my poll!

Over the weekend I put what I hope are the finishing touches on the baby's room. There are still a couple small things I might do if I have the time, but for the most part it's finished.

Baby is moving a LOT these days, but in more of a pushy "I want out" sort of way. Last night, he pushed up under my left rib so hard that I was actually able to feel what I think what either a heel or a knee.

I was asked to choose some baby shower games that I thought people would willingly participate in. After an exhaustive internet search, I came up with two nice, non-humiliating games that everyone can play. You all can thank me for tossing aside such options as "Sniff the Diaper." This little beauty of a game involved melting various kinds of chocolate candy bars into cloth diapers and then asking people to sniff them and guess which variety of candy bar made the mess. WHO comes up with this stuff?!

This morning Tom and I went to our first class at the hospital. Today's topic was how labor begins. Weeeeeeee!!!! It was actually really interesting, especially the part with the plastic pelvis and the baby doll in the crocheted uterus. ;) (very high-tech)

After we went around and did our introductions, it turns out we are the only people in the class having a boy. Argh. Well, actually, in fairness, there were three couples who didn't know what they are having... so maybe we're not as alone as it seems.

Also, I was amazed at how little some of these people know about pregnancy and childbirth. I mean, yeah, we're all first-timers, but do none of them watch the Discovery Channel? And I am I the only one who has read "What to Expect WHen You're Expecting?" (like, cover-to-cover the minute I found out I was pregnant). Hey, I like to know what I'm in for! Don't other people?

But seriously, this class is making this whole experience very very VERY real. At some point, this child has to come out or be forceably evicted. How weird. Next week we take the tour of the maternity unit... that should be fun. Eek.

OH! We learned about some hospital policies I was previously unaware of:
(pay attention readers, because some of these might apply to you)

1) Because of the current flu situation, from now until the end of March, no children under the age of 12 are allowed in the maternity unit.

2) Only two people are allowed in the labor/delivery room at a time during all of labor. People can tag-team visit up until the pushing stage, then I have to pick two people and stick with them until it's over.

3) Only FOUR people are allowed in my room at any one time after the baby is born. With two families, extended families and family friends all clamoring to see baby, this might present a problem. We'll see...

I also was a little disappointed to find out that I don't stay in the same room the whole time. I am in a room for labor, delivery and recovery (about an hour after the baby is born). Then they move me to the mother/baby unit. It's still a private room... but.... yuck.. who wants to move after all of that? Ah well..

That's all for now. More updates later! :)

The crocodile hunter guy brought his one-month old son "Bob" out with him during a croc feeding demonstration. See the article here.

First of all, who names a child Bob? Second of all, I wonder if Tom will take Ben to work with him to trade bonds when he's a month old. That might be funny.
Will have to discuss with Tom tonight. ;)

The first time we went to the Graffs when I know Ben was capable of hearing outside sound, he jumped all over the place. I think this is because it's generally pretty loud over there. We've been two or three times since then and now he just sleeps (or doesn't move anyway, so I assume he's sleeping.) I think we've managed to condition him to the voices and the volume. ;) Now he just needs to learn to talk really loud and he'll be WAY ahead of his mommy!

Oh and on another topic, I seem to have lost three pounds. While part of me is not exactly disappointed by this, I know my doctor is going to have a cow next Monday. I just can't eat very much these days though, so I'm not really sure what to do about it.
I was up until 4a.m. this morning with acid reflux. :( It's so yucky. On the bright side, that meant I had some time to put together a little Walmart registry for the folks coming to the shower who don't shop online or live near a Toys R Us. (or a Target or a Baby Depot) ;)