Yesterday we went to West Virginia for a graduation party for my cousins Matthew and Joshua. Ben got to meet more family! Here are pictures of him with my Aunt Dawn and my OTHER cousins' kids, Taylor and Trevor. That makes them.... second cousins? Cousins once removed? I give up... anyway, it was a cute photo op.


 

I checked on Ben about 15 times tonight after we put him to bed. Contrary to popular belief, this was not to check and see if he was breathing. He was sound aleep in his fuzzy airplane jammies under the soft glow of the nightlight and I just couldn't get over what a perfect little gift he is and how much love I feel for him.

It's amazing and overwhelming at times...

I'm working on my pregnancy blog scrapbook right now so I've been looking back at all my old posts and putting them together with pictures of me pregnant, ultrasound pictures, etc... Looking back on the whole process, it really is such a miracle... that the Benjamin who I'm getting to know, who falls asleep on my chest and smiles when I call him "my little peanut", was the same little person when he was growing inside of me all those months. Wow!

I've been reading another pregnancy blog a lot lately. It's really cool to experience the whole process again as someone else writes about it. Anyway, there was a post in it today that I thought was beautifully expressed and sort of goes along with my thoughts today... in case you don't click on my links to other blogs, I'll copy and paste it here for you. (It's from the link called "From a Lima Bean")
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May 27, 2004
Smell the Color Nine
Chris Rice has a new song out called, "Smell the color nine." I was working on my baby mix (the CD I'm making for our unborn little girl) and I heard the lyrics, "But sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color nine." That's how I feel sometimes when I'm trying to feel her moving around. All six and a half inches of her swimming around can barely make a noticeable hit on my insides.

"Now I've never 'felt the presence' But I know you're always near..." I know this song isn't about unborn children, but it could be. They're a miracle on their own. And a divine presence in the midst of amniotic fluid and muscles and tissue and blood vessels.

I have faith that the ultrasound pictures really are showing me what's growing in there. Because I can't see it. And sometimes I can't feel it. But I know she's there. She hears me. She's with me.

Faith is always the same...
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Today Ben and I visited my friend Jen and her little boy Ryan. Ryan is 9 months old and was very excited to see Ben... until he realized he wasn't allowed to poke him or grab his nose. He was very disappointed. They did have a little baby conversation though. It consisted mostly of "Ahhhhh!" "Ahhheee!!" and "Gurgle gurgle!" Here's a picture documenting their playdate. ;) Oh, and I'm testing out Blogger's new Hello picture service... so you can click on the picture to make it bigger. Wahoo!

Ben is ALMOST sleeping through the night. In fact, he WOULD be sleeping through the night if we could just get his schedule moved up an hour or two. Last week he started taking 5 ounce bottles pretty regularly and then started sleeping at 4 snd then 5-hour intervals. The problem is that Tom and I are not night owls, so we feed him his last bottle at around 9 or 10... so that five hour interval puts him up around 2 or 3am. Argh. This is an attainable goal though! We're almost there!

Check this out... the one on the left is mommy... the one on the right is (obviously) Ben. ;)

There is an insurance commercial that is running right now; I think it's for State Farm. You see scenes of people up at all hours of the night spending sweet, tender moments walking around with babies, feeding babies, comforting crying babies. It's all set to some sentimental music ("We Live Where You Live...") and heartwarming voiceover...

Anyway, everytime I catch this commercial in the middle of the day, I think, "Yeeeah... that IS sweet... being up at 3a.m. isn't that bad... those are priceless moments with my child...what was I thinking?!"

I'm such a sucker for sappy advertising.

When I'm actually up at 3a.m. (as I am right now), reality hits me like a 1 pound can of formula falling from a grocery store shelf.

This is NOT sweet.
It IS that bad.
And I really wish Ben would sleep through the night so I could spend my priceless moments with him during the day and be well rested while doing so.

Gotta go feed the baby. ;)

Ben had his two-month pediatrician visit today. He had to get four shots, two in each leg. :( Not surprisingly, he didn't enjoy it. But the doctor used a spray and a cream to numb the area where he gave the shots, so I'd like to think it wasn't as bad as it looked.

We learned that he weighs 10 pounds, 15 ounces and is 22 inches long. My little guy is only in the 25th percentile for weight and height. Still my little peanut monkey.
Tom noted, however, that his head circumference is in the 50th percentile. Hee hee...
No wonder he has such a hard time holding it up for very long. ;)

Here's a picture of one of Ben's sore little legs...


And here's a picture of how he'll probably spend the rest of the afternoon...

The cicadas are really loud today. I can hear them while I'm sitting in my living room. It's sort of just this contant, high-pitched "eeeeeeeeeeee!!!" It's annoying. I don't remember them sounding like this when they last came around. Then again, I was 10 years old and probably not paying much attention. I was busy running around outside in my bare feet with all the other neighborhood kids trying not to step on their disgusting little carcases that littered the sidewalks.

Tom brought up yesterday that the next time the 17-year cicadas come out to play, Ben will be 17. He'll probably be driving and have a girlfriend who will SO not be good enough for him.

I probably will have also gone through pregnancy a few more times (!) which means he'll probably also have a little sibling or two. If one of them is a girl, she'll be going through that annoying 13-15 year old stage. If one of them is a boy, he'll just starting to be embarassed about being seen with his mom. And if both of them are boys, I will have officially become my mother-in-law and so I'll probably be grasping for any little bit of communication I can get out of them on their way out the door to meet their girlfriends or play baseball.

Weird. Incredibly weird.

Then again, I thought it was totally preposterous that *I'd* be 27 THIS time around. And I can tell you, I never even thought about the fact that I'd be married with a child.

It all goes by so quickly ...

I told Tom that I clocked out this morning at 5a.m. (that's when I tranferred a full, dry, sleeping Benjamin from my arms to his crib) So I've been doing nothing all morning. By this, of course, I mean...doing nothing with the baby. I have, in fact, straightened the kitchen, made bottles and done three loads of laundry.

I also started working on my scrapbook for Ben. I printed out all of my blog entries from July 2003 to March 2004, so that's where I've started. The first page is the best. It has my very first blog entry and my positive pregnancy test. (yes, the actual test... hee hee) I knew it would come in handy someday.

This afternoon, we're taking Ben to his Nan's house to play while we go see Shrek II. After that, we're going out to dinner with my brother-in-law and his fiance. Hooray! Adult conversation! And Ben's grandparents are happy, as usual, to babysit. I hope the thrill never wears off.

Ben is sleeping right now. Ahhhh. Nothing sweeter (or quieter) than a sleeping baby.

I'm exhausted.

Ben did not want to take a nap today. He kept taking little 10 minute catnaps... but those did neither of us any good. Well, I guess they did ME some good because I kept having to run up and down the stairs to go see why he was crying. Exercise. Yeah. Maybe after a few more weeks of this, my ex-pregnant tummy won't feel like play-dough anymore.

On the bright side. When he wasn't fighting sleep, he was very happy. See picture below.


Yep. I finally managed to catch his elusive little toothless smile on camera!

On days like today, when I can get absolutely NOTHING done, I try to think of taking care of Ben as my 9-5 (er... 7-6) job. If I were working at a job outside my house(see I've already learned the p.c. stay-at-home mommy lingo!) I wouldn't get any cleaning or grocery shopping done either. It helps me get through those frustrating days when I just have to drop everything and hold him, carry him, rock him, sing to him, feed him... and the list goes on. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of EXTREME BABYSITTING!!!

The second shift has arrived home and has taken the little poop machine upstairs so I can have a break. It's so nice to just sit here in the quiet... except for the fact that my head feels like it's vibrating -- a well-known side effect of EXTREME BABYSITTING...

I'm off to do some mindless internet surfing...

... both literally and figuratively. We're in a pretty good routine now with naps and feeding and sleeping at night. Yay! And only four more weeks until "magic" three-month point that everyone keeps telling me about. You know, the time when your life with the baby is supposed to go from a marathon of little sleep to an absolute utopia?
Yeah. Right. I'll believe it when it happens.

Anyway, Ben's cute clothes are also starting to fit... including some of his his little baseball hats. ALMOST.

Here's a picture I took yesterday of my little peanut monkey. :) He's such a cutie!


Last night, I got up to feed him at 2a.m. and he was so sleepy he could barely muster the energy to take half of the bottle. After awhile, I gave up and put him back in his crib. Figures, ten minutes later I hear little coos coming from the baby monitor. I go to investigate and guess who is WIDE awake in his crib talking his mobile? Yep. This would be fine if he'd be content doing this until he fell asleep. But eventually he gets annoyed and lonely and starts to cry. So trying to go back to sleep before he did would have been pointless. Grr... he was up until 3a.m.

I just have to laugh when I'm standing over his crib at that time of night/morning, barely conscious, staring at a baby that's just smiling and cooing like it's two in the afternoon. I almost took a picture last night but in my stupor, I couldn't remember where I put the camera. Maybe tonight...

On another topic, Tom is going to a dinner for work this evening. This means I will be left with the baby for something like 14 hours today. I can't even think about it that way or I start to feel like I'm going insane. I might have to take him to grandma's this evening for awhile...

Benjamin rarely gets called by his actual name, at least by his mommy and daddy. Tom and I have come up with lots of strange nicknames for our little boy. Here's the short list.
;) Any other suggestions are welcome. ;)

1) Little Poop Machine (for obvious reasons)

2) Fatso (Tom uses this one when he's getting ready to feed Ben)

3) Peanut Monkey (I coined this one a few weeks ago...I was calling him Peanut for awhile and then when he started flailing his arms and legs around, it sort of evolved into Peanut Monkey)

4) Sleepy Beepy (for when he's obviously tired)

5) TeeBeeGee and TeeBeeGeeBee (derived from his initials: TBG)

6) TBG Express (for when he's being transported around the house in one of his various seats)

7) Stinky (see #1)

8) Fuzz (as in the fuzz on his head where his hair should be)

9) Little Man (often preceded by "Mommy's," "Daddy's," or "My Favorite")

10) Bennamin (his name minus the J... I dunno where this one came from)

11) Ben-a-licious

12) Benvenido

13) Benvareen

14) Benito

Ben is eight weeks old today... I guess he's technically not two months old until the 24th, but I started a new photo album anyway. I finally captured a real smile! It's not the best -- he smiles much bigger smiles, but it's SO hard to catch them with the camera!

Since I made the decision to be a stay-at-home-mom, I haven't looked back... well, except to ocassionally have lunch with some of my favorite ex-coworkers.

Anyway, I got an interesting proposal from my old boss yesterday via e-mail. He wants to pay me to be the "Keeper of the Website" for the company. I am torn between jumping in headfirst and running as fast as I can in the opposite direction.

On one hand, I'm certainly not bored at home. There is always plenty to do. And I like that I can pretty much do things in my own time. I also don't miss the day-to-day office crap or my old job. I'm wary of committing to do this and then regretting it several months down the road when, instead of taking Ben to my aunt's pool for the day, I have to work on the website. I cut my ties with that world, and I'm just not sure I have it in me to go back... even for just this small job. Also, I worked on the website when I was employed there and it was NOT a fun job... there was tons of red tape and as I recall, WAY too many meetings.

On the other hand, it'd be a little extra money coming in... and, while we're fine financially and with our savings, extra money is always nice. It would also give me a chance to have a little more contact with the outside world-- and more excuses to go to the office and visit with my friends.

I thought about a positive of working on the website is that it might be a creative outlet, but then I remembered that all those years working in an advertising agency, I can count the number of times I was actually able to be creative (the way I wanted to be) on one hand. There are just to many rules and too many people with too many opinions. With this website project, I know it would be the same. But that's fine because comes with the territory. It's just something I would need to keep in mind.

Anyway, I fulfill any need I have to be creative with this website and Ben's scrapbook. (which I have yet to start)...

So all that being said, I don't know what I'm going to do. I told my boss I'd come in later this week and talk to him about it. So we'll see ..

I think the first thing I learned about life with a baby is that you can't rush ANYthing. If I want to get somewhere by 11a.m. for example, I need to get moving by 7a.m.

Ben needs at least 20 minutes, sometimes more, to finish a bottle... then there's bathing, dressing and diaper changing. Try to rush any of these and all you get is a screaming baby.

Then there are the unforeseen things that send us right back to square one: he pees on me while I'm getting him dressed, poops in the fresh diaper, spits formula all over himself... etc.

Plus, the kiddo must be well rested, so naps can't be skipped or skimped on if it's avoidable. So that eats up a couple of hours.

And lastly, I have to gather all of the acoutrements that must be carted along with baby. Fully loaded diaper bag, extra pacifier, blanket, toys...

...and don't even get me started about trying getting mySELF dressed, fed and out the door with everything I need in tow. I don't think I have yet to get anywhere without forgetting at least one thing since I've had Ben.

I've discovered the key to getting out of the house without the baby and I both getting all stressed out is to just do one thing at a time-- except when he naps... then, and only then can I multitask. ;)

I can't be quite as punctual as I used to be and it's taken a LOT of getting used to. Sometimes I'll think I want to go out somewhere and the very idea of getting the baby together to get out of the house is just way too overwhelming. It's easier most days to just let him do his thing here at home and putter around the house. I figure I'll get more of a life when he's older... HRM...why do I feel like I'm going to eat those words someday in the future?

Did I just use the words "next baby" in that last post?

Seriously. This pregnancy/childbirth amnesia thing is frightening.

I just noticed a question from Leslie in the comments section about Ben's 4-D ultrasound pictures. I thought I'd answer it in a post so it doesn't get lost, and because I get a lot of search engine hits about 4-D ultrasounds. So this info might be useful to lots of people. :)

We got the 4-D done at 31 weeks at First Glance Fetal Imaging. Their website says the best pictures are obtained between 28 and 34 weeks. First Glance is the only place in my area I could find that does 4-D ultrasound non-medically -- (as in, you don't need your doctor to send you there). but, people living in other parts of the country are lucky to have more widely spread franchises like Fetal Foto. Our ultrasound cost about $200 and included a 30 minute video of the whole thing set to music, a cd full of pictures captured during the session and really nice prints of some of our favorite pictures. The whole experience was really amazing and I don't regret spending the money on it at all. We have looked at the pictures and video since Ben's birth and the 4-D was eerily accurate. He really did come out looking like his pictures! :) And now that he's here, we see the same facial expressions and gestures we saw him make when he was still inside me. How cool is that?

People always ask me if we'll do all these sorts of things for the next child. My answer? Probably. I don't imagine that pregnancy will be any less amazing the second time around and I know I'll want to start to get to know my next baby as soon as possible too!

To quote Leslie's comment: "I still can't believe we GROW these things." ;)

Tom and I went to a wedding last night... sans baby. People kept asking me where the baby was. Like I'd actually bring a two month old to a wedding and reception, much less one that goes until midnight? I may be a first-time mom but even *I* know better than that.

So Ben stayed with my in-laws and I'm pretty sure a good time was had by all. We picked up our very sleepy little boy around 11:45. He had been fed, changed and thoroughly oo'ed and ah'ed over by his grandparents, two uncles and a couple of neighbors. I could get used to this. ;)He's up in his crib right now... I think he's sleeping off an attention hangover.

Ben naps in his carseat. There, I admit it. He naps for hours upon hours during the afternoon as long as he's in his carseat ...and I LIKE it.

I gave up trying to get him to nap in his crib. He sleeps in his crib at night no problem, so I figure what can it hurt? When I nap, I don't like to nap in bed, I like to nap on the couch. Same concept, right?

The weird part though, is that he'll nap IN the carseat IN the crib. (see picture below) I know I know, there's probably some safety issue here that someone out there will feel the need to comment on. But in my defense, Ben isn't really what I would call "mobile" yet. The worst he can really do right now is turn his head from side to side, realize he's in the crib, and scream. So until he can pull himself up and hang from the mobile, I'm not particularly worried. Besides, during his carseat/crib nap, I'm usually right in the next room anyway.

And as for spoiling him by giving in and letting him sleep in the careseat: In the words of my very logical husband: "If we do something wrong now, we'll just fix it when he learns how to talk and we can reason with him." ;)

This morning has been interesting. Ben woke up crying around 4a.m. and Tom took him downstairs. This usually means they sleep on the couch for awhile until Ben is ready to eat breakfast. But it's 7:45 and Ben has yet to be ready to eat breakfast. Tom tried to feed him at 5:00 and he just fussed and I tried to feed him at 7:15 and he only took an ounce or so before he started to fuss. Then when I tried to burp him, he fell asleep on my shoulder. So I guess today sleep is just more important than food. And that's FINE with me! Maybe, luxury of luxuries, I can get a shower before he wakes up and maybe even brush my teeth! Wow! :D Hopefully this bodes well for tonight. We're going to a wedding rehearsal dinner and plan on taking Ben unless he's in "evil Ben" mode.

In other news, my friend Bonnie, who lives in Washington State, has a bat. (not a baseball bat, the rodent type, with wings). It moved into her backyard and has made itself at home. Anyway, she wants to name it and has requested "uncommon bat name" ideas. I guess that means "Batty" "Batty Bat" "Old Bat" "Mouse with Wings" "Dracula" "Fang" etc... are out. hee hee... So, if you'd like to suggest a name, please post it on my tagboard or in the comments section. ;) I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

Today started just like any other day, except that I woke up with this nagging, pinched feeling in my back. As the morning went on, it slowly inched its way down the right side of my back and eventually left me somewhat immobile on the bathroom floor. Luckily, at the time, Ben was in his bouncy seat in the bathroom with me. Luckier still, he had fallen asleep. And, I had the phone in the bathroom with me.

I called Tom, who came home to take care of Ben until my mom could get here. The pain kept getting worse and I couldn't find any position that relieved it. What I wouldn't have given for an epidural! ;) Thankfully, my mom came over and watched the baby all day and eventually around 4:00 or so and after several hot baths, a shower, three ibuprofen, a tylenol PM, and lots of quality time with the heating pad, my back suddenly stopped hurting. Whew.

I'll tell you though, it gave me some perspective. I'd much rather deal with yesterday's screaming Ben then the pain I was in today. Suddenly a crying baby just doesn't seem so horrible.

Now that I've mentioned the positives of my new job (see post below)... I have a little ranting to do. Ben has been happy for approximately 7.5 minutes today. The other ohhh... 12 hours, he's been either sleeping or screaming. I've tried...

-diaper changes
-feeding
-gas drops
-rocking
-swaddling
-talking
-singing
-leaving him in the crib to cry it out (the problem is he never quites cries it out, he just cries)
and much, much more!

I'm starting to take it personally. I'm also losing my sanity.

I was watching Dr. Phil today and he quoted some study that said staying at home to raise a child is equivalent to having two full-time jobs. I tend to agree except that for these jobs, I can come to work in my pajamas, take my work outside, and sleep on the job. ;) Anyway, in honor of Dr. Phil's little statement, I present to you the following pictures I took at work today...

My new boss


My new office


My briefcase

... because I think Ben might be breaking a record.

My brain hurts.

*** note *** I had to take the slideshow off of my server because it was eating up too much bandwidth. I'll put back once I find a new place to house it. :)
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I'm learning how to use Quicktime Pro... here's my first attempt at a slideshow. :) I wanted to put it up for Mother's Day, but I just now got it working. Anyway, enjoy...

Welcome to the World

Happy Mother's Day everyone! Here are some pictures> from my visit with Benjamin to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom and Ben's aunt Debbie. My friend Phil also dropped by to meet Ben and tell us he got engaged! (you'll see him in the pictures) :) Yay! Here are two of my favorite pictures.


Tom went to lunch with his mom and brothers and then later on we dropped Ben off with Tom's parents' while we went out alone. All in all, a wonderful first mother's day! :)

Ben slept in his crib last night. It was much less traumatic than I thought it would be. In fact, all of us slept better, I think! He went to bed around 9p.m. and slept until 1:00, woke up to eat and went right back to sleep. He woke up again at 4 to eat and went back to sleep until 7:30. Hooray! :D It's not sleeping through the night or anything, but I'll take what I can get. Plus, Tom and I didn't have to lay awake listening to Ben wriggling all over place and grunting in his sleep. We kept the monitor on, so we were woken up when he cried to eat and that worked out really well! :)

Today I'm packin' up the Pack-N-Play and reclaiming my bedroom! Hooray! :D

Apparently, baby blogs are quickly outpacing baby books!
Read!

My baby is balding. This has resulted in him having sort of a comb-over... or rather, a comb-forward. Reminds me of someone...

Donald


Ben

I found this on the pregnancy message board that I read. (I find a lot of interesting stuff on there). Anyway, as I sit here missing my clean house, helpless to do nothing but look around at the chaos while Benjamin sleeps on my chest... this seemed appropriate.

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Love is...

If I live in a house of spotless beauty
with everthing in it's place, but have not love,
I am a housekeeper--not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative
achievements, but have not love,
my children learn cleanliness--not godliness.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly
cleaned window.
Love wipes away tears before it wipes up the spilled
milk.
Love picks up a child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present throught the trials,
Love reprimands, reproves and is responsive.
Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler,
runs with the child,
Then stands aside to let the youth walk into
adulthood.
Love is the key that opens salvation's message to a
child's heart.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of
perfection.
Now I glory in God's perfection of my child.
As a mother, there is much I must teach my child.
But the greatest of all is love.

Author Unknown

There was a whole thread today on my pregnancy/baby message board concerning the use of a "binky." I don't understand all the uproar, frankly. The hospital gave Ben a pacifier when he was circumcised and he's had one ever since. He probably only uses it 2-4 hours a day, mostly after he eats and he wants to keep sucking. I was worried becore I had him because my mother-in-law is very anti-pacifier. She's been really nice about not making too many comments about it though... and I try my best not to get it out when we're at their house so she can see that I'm not just shoving it in his mouth at the first peep he makes.

I agree that a toddler running around with a plug hanging out of his mouth is not really a good thing. But I don't plan on letting Ben have it that long. It comforts him, and he hasn't found his hands yet, so what else am I supposed to do? It's definitely not the first thing I go to to soothe him... I try everything else first. And actually, there are times when he doesn't even want it when he's upset!

I am a little annoyed with one aspect of the binky though. Ben isn't old enough yet to figure out how to put it back in when he loses it. So if he falls asleep with it at night, we're in for a long night of getting up and replacing it over and over again. In that respect, I definitely wish he'd give it up in favor of his fingers. We'd all get better sleep.

I heard the earlier you introduce children to computers, the better. ;) Here's Ben working on his blog this morning.

Benjamin stayed awake today from 6:30a.m. until the time this picture was taken. Mommy is tired. :(

I had my six-week post partum dr.'s appointment yesterday. Wow. What a cruel and unusual pregnancy milestone.
No but seriously... It actually wasn't as bad as I anticipated and it appears that all the horrific damage my beautiful baby boy inflicted upon me on his way out has pretty much healed. So my doctor gave me a clean bill of health and sent me on my way with some goodies (a.k.a. sample packs of birth control pills in a pretty pink bag) and the motherly advice that children spaced about three years apart are ideal. I wholeheartedly agree.

And since my six-week appointment is the conclusion to my first pregnancy, I thought I'd do a little review of the last ten months or so. I'm hoping it will help ease the worries of any of my readers who may be pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant someday... this is because I am a big fat pain wuss who hates all things related to doctors and hospitals. Not only did I get through the whole experience pretty much unscathed, I'm going to do it all again in a couple years.

So, without further adieu, here are my thoughts about the pregnancy experience. ;)

- I found out I was pregnant last July 15th. That was scary. And then it was exciting. And then it didn't feel real, until my clothes stopped fitting one by one.The first trimester flew by and was pretty painless and uneventful... and then the puking started. I used to be afraid of throwing up... a lot people probably are. When you do it everyday though, you sort o get used to it. hehehe... Also, at the beginning of the first trimester, I was petrified of the idea of labor, but I quickly decided that it was far enough away that I could go into denial for awhile. ;)

- The second trimester was way more fun. We ordered furniture for the nursery and found out what we were having. Tom and I even took a trip to Disney World in my fifth month. The second trimester was easy, despite the throwing up all the time. It's the most amazing thing to feel a baby move inside of you for the first time. Didn't think about labor at all...

-The third trimester was when things started to get difficult. I just kept getting bigger and bigger.When it was all said and done, I gained 35 pounds. It also felt about three times as long as the first two trimesters. At the time, it seemed completely unimaginable to me that the pregnancy could seriously go all the way to my due date. But it just about did. Oh, and I was reminded of the inevitable conclusion to my 9-month adventure when we took our childbirth class in my 7th month.

-My doctor decided to induce ONE day before my due date. At this point, I was no longer afraid of labor. I didn't care if the baby had to come out of my NOSE just as long as it got the heck out of me. That's what 32-weeks of throwing up, not being able to tie your shoes or roll over in bed, and having no clothes that fit will do to you.

-The induction got off to a quick start and I got the epidural after four hours or so. Wow. Whoever came up with that little invention should be knighted. I'm pretty sure that even if needles are your worst fear, you will practically want to kiss the person who comes in to stick this nine-foot long one in your back. Contractions (the ones I felt before I got the blessed epidural) felt like really bad menstrual cramps. Nothing too horrific. I hope I can get induced next time.

-I won't lie. Pushing sucked. A LOT. But my epidural fell out, so I felt more than I should have. I have heard from others that if the epidural stays put, pushing isn't bad either. These people are the reason I say I will do it all over again someday. After they got it working again, I just felt a TON of pressure. I remember thinking at some point during all of this, that maybe I didn't want a baby after all or that he could just stay where he was indefinitely. But Tom and the doctor told me it was too late for the first option and that Ben was coming out no matter how many times I claimed that he wasn't.

-Ben came out. That felt REALLY weird. Suddenly there was a wet, naked human ON my stomach instead of inside it. I didn't cry. I remember thinking that was weird because I cry through the baby shows on the Discovery Channel every single time. Oh, another interesting thing to note is that sometime during the whole pushing process, I lost all sense of modesty. The next three days, about a hundred different people saw me naked and not only did I NOT care, but I was always happy to see them because they were usually coming to clean me up and that always felt better. Weird. This was one of the parts of childbirth I always dreaded and it turned out to not matter to me in the least. The other part that I was scared of from day ONE was having to have a catheter. Again, I got over that quickly because not only did I not feel it at all, but I was ecstatic that I didn't have to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. It was actually kinda nice.
;)

Fast forward to six-weeks later and I feel completely normal. It's hard to remember what it was even like to be pregnant or that I was miserable during parts of it. That's why I'm glad I have this blog, since I documented all the icky daily details. I now realize that all those months, I shouldn't have been worried about labor and delivery at ALL. Instead, I should have been worried about adjusting to life with a newborn because frankly, that's been the hardest part of the whole experience. But slowly, that's getting easier too, and I'll probably forget about the bad parts soon enough.

And that forgetfulness, my friends, is why there are not more one-child families. That, and babies are REALLY cute when they're not screaming.

No further explanation needed. Let's just say he's been doing this for almost two hours straight.

Here's a blogger after my own heart. ;) Check this site out. You'll laugh too!

I'm kind of a Discovery Channel geek. Seriously. I've seen all the specials about conjoined twins, crazy genetic mishaps, people with 200 pound tumors etc... anyway, now that I have my own little human to observe and experiment with, I'm reminded of a Discovery Channel special I once saw on the topic of baby development. It was all about how babies develop different skills at very specific times.

Anyway, one of the more interesting ones was about something called Object Permanence. This is apparently being aware that, for instance, if a person leaves a room, they will come back. Or, if a ball rolls behind a couch it will come out the other side. According to the study, up until about 3 or 4 months, babies think that if something isn't in their field of vision, it's gone forever.

This is really very sad when you think about it.

I put him in his crib, rub his head for awhile, turn on the mobile and walk away. No wonder he cries! He opens his eyes and I'm gone. FOREVER.

Or... he's eating... I take the bottle away to wipe his chin. His little thought process must go something like. "Uh oh. Bottle gone forever. Food is no more! Will starve! Not good! Must scream!"

Yeah... so I think even more so than rolling over, laughing or cooing, I'd like Ben to learn object permanence. It'd make life easier on both of us. ;)

Here's an interesting article about the topic if you want to read it.