Here are today's interesting search engine hits that brought people to my site:

1) "human milk feeding albums" - hrm... either a perv or someone researching breastfeeding. Either way, you won't find any of that here. We use bottles. But, there are pictures of a baby eating from bottles in my albums if you're interested. ;)

2) "what if the report in ultrasound says that the legs are too close when asked?"
I assume this is someone who is annoyed they couldn't find out the sex of their baby. Sorry! Thems the breaks! Either go pay for an ultrasound or make up a reason to "need" another one. (although you are responsible for any lightning striking that occurs if you use that method). I'm sure your doctor isn't lying to you about the baby's legs being "too close" (closed? Is that what you mean?)


3) "cute human baby boy pictures"
Well gee, I'm flattered that your search brought you to my baby boy's website. We think he's pretty cute too. ;)

4) "eggplant parmesan pics"
Yes, I continue to be THE site for eggplant parmesan. Sadly though, I didn't take a picture of my beautiful (and tasty) non-labor-inducing eggplant parm.

5) "vegyna"
If you're going to look up adult terms in search engines, learn how to spell. It's V-A-G-I-N-A! This is the SECOND time I've gotten a search with that word spelled like this. What are they teaching in the public school health classes today? Obviously not spelling.

6) "mild swelling of feet and ankles at 27 weeks"
Welcome to pregnancy, sweetie. I'm sure you're in denial about the whole "mild" swelling part. Your toes probably look like sausages. I can assure you that it's normal. My advice? Entertain yourself by pushing on your ankles and feet. It's really cool how they get all squishy and you can make indentations that stay there for hours at a time. ;)


Those are today's interesting searches! Hope you are as entertained/intrigued/frightened as I was.

I post these sleep updates mostly for my own benefit... so that with the next kid I can look back and remember what worked and what didn't and when. If my readers are interested in our sleep saga, then that's a bonus. ;)

Benjamin ate like a little piggy all day yesterday. He drained just about all of his bottles AND had two whole bowls of oatmeal and peaches - one in the morning - and one around 7p.m. right before bed. The second bowl was so Tom could be entertained by watching him eat and a little experiment to see if feeding him solids before bed would make him sleep longer.

Tom was entertained, but Ben didn't sleep longer.

HOWEVER...

He only woke up to eat. Once at 10:30 and once at 2:00... then, as usual, he got up around 4:45 thinking he wanted to be awake for the day. Tom thwarted that though with a little trip downstairs to visit Mr. Sofa.

I don't know if I'd call any of this progress. It feels like a million giant steps backward to have him waking up in the middle of the night to eat again. But it's nice to only be waking up that one time instead of 600 times to replace the pacifier. I guess eventually, he'll grow enough to sleep through the 2a.m. feeding again. If not, I'll have to impliment measures I've read about in some of my books for when this happens... something about when you think they are waking up to eat just out of habit, to feed them less and less each night.

Why must such a simple thing as SLEEP be SO complicated?

I found the link to these paintings on Christina's blog. If I had seen them when I was decorating Ben's room, they totally would have been in the running. They are SO adorable and so happy!

HAHAHAHA.... I just saw a preview for today's local news. Here's a direct quote from the teaser:

(spoken with much dramatic effect) "Next up on WBAL news at 5:00, what if you had morning sickness 24 hours a day for your ENTIRE pregnancy?"

Uh... yeah? Ohmahgah! What IF??!!? ;)

How about: You throw up, you eat, you throw up again, you deal with it. After awhile, you don't even care if you throw up at work or your in-laws' house. You keep trying to drink water so you don't end up in the hospital dehydrated with an iv in your arm. You give birth, (while throwing up), then you wolf down a McDonald's value meal and happily keep it down. Next question.

Tonight hasn't been bad. Well, to any normal human being it has been horrible, especially considering I'm posting this at 4 in the morning. But anyone else with a baby will understand why I call this "not so bad." Ben went to sleep around 8:30, woke up around 10:30 to eat. Slept blissfully until 2:00. Ate some more and went right back to sleep. This is the first pacifier run I've been up for. And I'm pretty sure it's because one, or both, of our neurotic cats woke him up. Milo, our deceivingly innocent-looking cat, I found loudly chewing a giant hole through the bag of cat food I left in the foyer. And if THAT wasn't loud enough, Ani, our outright evil cat, has been spending the 4 o'clock hour knocking over all the upstairs trash cans and chewing on pieces of cellophane he found in one of them just outside of Ben's room. Nice.

Okay, it has been 20 minutes now and the binky has stayed in, no fussing. Back to bed for me. I punch out in a half hour and it's Tom's turn to play. (We're back on our newborn Ben tag-team feeding schedule... I REALLY enjoy turning over the reins at 5a.m... A LOT)

**editor's note**
Okay, I lied. It IS that bad. The little turd monkey won't go back to sleep. His eyes are closed, but he's doing this annoying thing he always does where he turns his head from side to side and rips the binky out in the process. It goes something like this.

- Replace binky
- I Start to walk away
- Head turns
- Whine whine
- Replace binky
- I Start to walk away
- Head turns
- Whine Whine
....

Grr... It's almost like he never quite falls into a deep sleep.

**editor's note 2**
He woke up REALLY woke up at 5:00. Tom took him downstairs and got him to sleep again until 6:00, when he ate again. I'm just glad it wasn't me.

This is a new entry for Rangeley who is exceptionally bored at work today. ;)

I just got in from Target and the grocery store... Ben is always so good when we go out. It's not his fault that his stroller and infant seat make him a pain-in-the-butt to take anywhere. He loves Target almost as much as I do... takes in all the bright colors while I shop. :) His eyes are really big the whole time...

Then we went to the grocery store and I had one of those conflicted moments... "It's almost 2:00... do I sit down in the cafe and feed him or just try to shop as fast as possible?" I opted for the second choice and it worked out until the ride home, when, at 10 after 2, Benjamin realized it was mealtime and there was no bottle forthcoming. Oops. Then of course we hit every red light on the way home. I just cranked up the Lion King soundtrack and sang over his screams. What else could I do?

Hakuna Matata... ya know what I mean? ;)

I just noticed my visitors per day average is up to 77! Who ARE all these people? Where are they coming from? I know some people visit three and four times a day checking for updates, so that accounts for some of it... but WOW. I wish more people would comment and tell me who they are. :( I don't want to stalk my readers, I just want to know who's out there! :)

This morning, I gave Ben peaches. I know, all the information on solid foods says you're supposed to give a new food two or three days to make sure they aren't allergic to it. But I read that peaches were one of the starter foods that wouldn't cause constipation (a.k.a. that horrible nighttime screaming that happens at our house when Ben eats one of the offending foods).

So I left the second try of applesauce for another day and we moved onto peaches. He REALLY liked them. Ate the whole bowl as a matter of fact. He got frustrated though... I think because I started feeding him before I gave him any of his bottle. He was starving I guess and the peaches weren't taking the edge off quite as fast as the bottle does.

On our frequent topic of sleep, last night wasn't HORRIBLE. He woke up to eat at 11:30 instead of Tom waking him up at 10. Then he woke up again and took another whole bottle at 2:00. YIKES. After that there were a couple of pacifier runs during the 3:00 hour, and he woke up for the morning around 4:45. (Poor Tom had to handle that one). I think once we get past this growth spurt or whatever is going on, the nighttimes will be much more manageable. They are already substantially better now that I'm feeding him in the middle of the night. He actually goes back to sleep and stays asleep for a little while. Whew.

I love Ben and I wouldn't trade him for the world... but I sure do hope the next baby is a little easier. I know it's only been four months, but I feel like I've already earned the right to one of those easy babies I keep hearing about...

We read Goodnight Moon to Benjamin tonight. This book is overhyped... where's the plot? And who says goodnight to a bowl of mush? Seriously... The Very Hungry Caterpillar has it all over this book.

I just got a new book called The Wonder Weeks - How to Turn Your Baby's 8 Great Fussy Phases into Magical Leaps Forward.

WOW.

Apparently there is a science to this whole fussy baby thing.

Some exerpts from "Wonder Week 19" (where we are right now)

"... he will be much quicker to cry at this time. A very demanding little one, in particular, will cry, whine, and grumble noticeably more often than he did in the past. He will make no bones about the fact that he wants to be with his mommy."

"Your baby might not settle down well at night now. It may be more difficult to get him to go to bed in the evenings, or he may lie awake at night. He may want a night feeding again, or he may even demand to be fed several times at night..."

"He may refuse to sit on anyone else's lap but yours, or he may get upset if a stranger looks at or talks to him... generally, his shyness will be more apparent with people who look very different from you."

"Both breastfed and bottlefed babies can temporarily have smaller appetites as they approach this leap..."

The list goes on and on.... I feel like I could have written this chapter.

The whole premise of the book is that babies go through these huge developmental periods, when they are getting ready to do something new. In our case, week 19 is just before they start to understand that the world around them is a series of predictable events. The fussy period can start a little earlier or a little later than week 19 (earlier in our case) and can last as little as 1 week and as long 6 weeks. Yikes. But it's good to know there an end to it... until week 26 anyway.

Anyway, I wish I had had this book when Benjamin was born. It's REALLY enlightening and makes me feel much less alone in my current, no sleep, crying all the time, fussy baby prison...

Today is another rainy day... yay! :) Benjamin is still not sleeping well... last night, Tom fed him at 10:00, he woke up at 2a.m. and ate again, woke up once at 3:30 for his pacifier, then woke up again at 4:45 and ate a little bit more. It wasn't the worst night we've had, but it also was not the greatest. He also had a stomachache/screaming incident last night that I'm convinced was caused by the rice cereal (again).

This morning, we tried just applesauce. He seemed to like it. It's really hard to tell because when I feed him anything with a spoon, he gets really quiet and doesn't react much at all. He ate it, but it's not like he's waiting with his mouth wide open or grabbing at the spoon like I've heard about other babies doing. He's just sort of like, "Okay... I'll cooporate until she's had her fun." So, who knows.

It's POURING out today and it's supposed to keep raining all day. I'm so excited! Benjamin and I are just hanging out on the couch right now waiting for our new dining room table to be delivered... one of those "four-hour delivery window" deals. After that, we're going to take a long nap because I got about 2-1/2 hours of sleep last night. (I gotta get more bananas and cereal into this kid!) I'm hoping my new Anne Lamott book will finally come... that would really make it a perfect day!


Postscript: Table came! :) Here are pictures! I'm slowly adding non-Ikea pieces of furniture to my house. ;)

This morning Benjamin had his four-month doctor's appointment, complete with the requisite shots. :( Poor little guy. He did really well though until the shots. Dr. Aguto says he's a very alert little baby! :)

He's almost 25 inches long and 14 pounds and very healthy from head to toe.

We got the green light to start cereal and fruits! I can't wait. The doctor seems to think that's why he's waking up at night, because he needs more food. So hooray!We're going to try bananas as soon as he wakes up from his post-shots nap.

No more shots until September!


**editor's note***
We tried bananas this afternoon. I THINK he liked them because he smiled a lot. I tried to slip a little rice cereal in after the bananas, but I'm pretty sure that's a lost cause now. After our little experiment, I had to wipe him down from head to toe... even though he's clean now and I washed my hands, I keep smelling bananas. Ick.

Here are pictures as promised from the christening yesterday...

Benjamin getting baptized (he didn't cry!)


Tom and Erin with the christening cake that Aunt Gail brought


Bejamin giving this whole event some thought...


Thomas Graff versions 1-4


More pictures are here though the quality on a lot of them is sort of icky for some reason. :(

The christening went better than expected... that is, if you don't count the explosive poop that Ben had just before we were supposed to walk him down the aisle to our seats. Tom got to handle that one. Ben got horrible, smelly, yellow, liquified poo all over his white linen christening outfit. Way to go, Ben! After that, things improved. He even took the water on the head bit wonderfully. Father, son, holy ghost and no crying at all!

His routine is a little out of whack and he hasn't eaten much today. We're not sure if the poor eating is because of the routine being screwed up or because he has a little tummy issue. (hence the explosive poo in the church).

He was a good sport for the most part about being passed around to everyone. All in all, a pretty good day. We're home now and he's sleeping, poor little thing. He has no idea he's in for a bad day tomorrow too with his 4-month doctor's appointment and five shots to look forward to.

Pictures to come. :) Stay tuned.

The fun began at 1:30a.m. this morning. Fussy. Gave back pacifier. Back to sleep. Repeat. Finally, at 2:30, that wasn't enough. I gave up and made boy a warm 4 oz. bottle. Slap me silly... he sucked it dry! And now he's passed out like a little drunk.

What am I supposed to make of that? I need to start feeding him at 2:30a.m. again? No no no no no no! That ended months ago! I'm supposed to be getting a full night's sleep now! The baby people... all the books... the mothers... they ALL LIED to me.

I'm hoping that after we get the all clear for solids at our doctor's appointment on Monday that this situation will improve. Maybe the cereal will fill him up a little more. Please GOD please! I can't take this lack of sleep for much longer. The cumulative effect is making me LOOPY!

There is another, more immediate problem however. Now that he's eaten 4 oz. at 2:30a.m.... when the heck is he going to want to eat again? Normally I wouldn't care. But this has the potential to push his schedule RIGHT smack dab into the middle of church. (under normal circumstances, I would probably be able to get away with feeding him a little earlier, around 9'ish... but now... WHO KNOWS?!)

Just when ya think you have a really nice routine going... ;) HA! Babies LAUGH in the face of routine.

Tomorrow is the day Ben gets water dumped on his head by a stranger in a robe. (hence his current mood of: Blessed)

I say this with such sarcasm not at all out of disrespect for the sarcrament/tradition... but because my little boy is going to scream like a banshee when this occurs and, for this reason, I'm absolutely dreading waking up tomorrow.

Plus, to add to the fun, the church service falls during both feeding time AND nap time. Oh JOY. Could the deck be ANY more stacked against us?

Nope. Didn't think so.

I'll write more tomorrow night (if I'm not asleep) and post pics of the whole affair.

Happy four-month birthday Benjamin!

From our official four-month photo session. ;)

The obligatory "sitting up in the green chair" shot


Cuddling with his Disney bear (we bought it for him when I was 5 months pregnant during our trip to Disneyworld last November)


The rest can be found here in our brand new Month 5 photo album! :)

I got Benjamin on video yesterday trying to crawl. He's SO determined... he just hasn't realized yet that the knees need to be involved. So far, the most progress he's made is just sort of scooting himself around in a complete circle like a little clock. (I'm still trying to get THAT on video) Anyway, this one's a pretty simple one because my laptop is still fried and all my fun video stuff is on there. :(

Heeeeeeeeeere's Ben!

Also, here's a picture I took yesterday. It's not exactly a scientifically accurate way of measuring him... but according to the stuffed centipede, he's 24 inches long. ;)

I'm not one who often returns things or complains to companies about products. I usually just suck it up and live with things I'll never use or wear.

But some of the baby stuff I have was really expensive and I want to use a lot of it for my other babies in the future, so when something breaks, I actually find myself making the effort to do something about it. 

Here are some raves for companies I have recently dealt with and I  think deserve the recognition:

1) Toys R Us: Their return policy is awesome. I got tons of duplicate items at my baby shower, a lot of things with no gift receipt. I hauled a giant trash bag into Toys R Us and three minutes later, they handed me a gift card with store credit on it! No questions asked! I have since returned all sorts of things there, duplicate gifts, things that didn't fit, things we opened, tried and didn't like and have always gotten the same great service.

2) Tiny Love: After lots of research, I bought this great mobile before Benjamin was born. It was $40, so needless to say, when it stopped spinning after we had used it for only a month, I was not happy. I emailed the company and within three days had a replacement part... amazing!

3) Peg Perego: This one's the best. I'm a dumbass and when I took the baby's highchair out of the box a few weeks ago, I somehow managed to throw away the little wheels that get attached to the bottom of it. DUH. I emailed the company and explained how I had managed to toss the wheels and asked how I could go about ordering new ones. They are sending them to me... for FREE. Now THAT'S service. The "problem" was even MY fault!

These companies are smart. They know I'll probably recommend them to all my prego friends and will probably continue to use and buy their products for the next however many years I have babies in my house. It's great that they recognize that and offer such great service. Thanks! :)

I started my blog one year ago today as "I Have to Push What out of Where?"
For those who want to feel nostalgic along with me, here is the page with  my very first post.
And here is a link to the scrapbook page I made of my very first post.  (complete with authentic prego test) ;)

Join me in wishing my blog a happy birthday! It'll give me a chance to find out who's reading these days!

There are just a few lingering pieces of evidence of my recent adventure:

1) The infamous brown line. I never noticed it there when I was pregnant, but once my stomach was snapped back to its non-pregnant state, there was a very definite brown line going from my belly button downward. It's fading. But I can see it. It's very weird. For a similar effect, take a light colored marker and draw on an overinflated balloon. Deflate the balloon and watch the line shrink to one-quarter its size and become six shades darker. It's oh so attractive.

2) Milk. Oh yes. It's still there. Miniscule amounts but SHEESH can you BELIEVE this?! I should have been a wet nurse.

3) A dot... On my wrist where I had an iv line for four days in the hospital. I guess it's a permanent scar. It really bugs me more than anything else. Except...

4) I'M LOSING MY HAIR. Yeah, four months later, it's finally happening. For two days now, I've been pulling blonde hairs out from beween Ben's tiny fingers. Ugh. I hope it doesn't last long... for one, it's gross to keep finding hairs all over everything and for two, it's not like I have a thick, lustrious mane of hair to begin with.

The fun never ends!

**editors note** Stretch marks. Right. I have some of those too. Joy.

Tonight Ben got hungry before he fell asleep for the night... so he had his last bottle at 8:45 instead of 10:00. Don't know what we could have done to avoid it but wow... big mistake. He was up at 3:30a.m. wanting his 5:00a.m. bottle.

Someone shoot me.

I've been trying to get him to go back to sleep (I fed him) for an hour. He's currently swimming around in the crib looking like he's trying to be a little Michael Phelps. (go USA!) Oh, he's happy. He's just... awake. Very. Awake.

Leslie, I just tried to comment on your blog but it's not working. How am I supposed to occupy my time at 4:30a.m. if I can't comment? ;)

::sigh::

**editors note**
It's 4:38a.m... the swimming has stopped. Boy is quiet. Sleeping?

A quick check (carefully avoiding the squeaky spot in the floor) says YES!

Back to bed for me!

Ben's newest trick (as of yesterday) is trying to crawl. If you put a toy just out of reach when he's on his tummy, he shoots his butt way oup into the air and flops back down again while grabbing the floor desperately with his hands. It's pretty funny to watch... I'm going to try to get it on video later. He just gets more and more entertaining! ;)

Ben was up last night on and off through most of the 1:00 hour and ALL of the 4:00 hour, through oh... about 6:30. I have tried it all, so I have decided not to stress about it anymore. He'll just grow out of it. I'm NOT taking his pacifier away. I read the post on that other blog one my lurkers suggested. That's seems like a cruel thing to do to a four-month old!

One thing I have learned from all these nights off getting in and out of bed -- I know EXACTLY where all the squeaky spots in the floor are and how to avoid them. ;)

The boy is playing happily (oops, sort of, until now) on the floor right now. I think we're going to try to go to the grocery store today because the cupboards are bare. After that, our day is pretty much up in the air ... I'm sure there will probably be some floor playing, some bouncy seat playing and some diaper changing! ;)

I just realized it's 4:30 and I haven't posted yet today. Not much to talk about, I guess. Ben's happy. I'm tired. I tried tricking him into taking a nap with me. But there is no tricking a baby to sleep when they are not tired. :: sigh ::

There is a guy outside mowing our lawn right now. Tom is going to be so happy when he gets home and it's all pretty. Hopefully he'll be happy enough to not be annoyed about the $25 it's costing us.

I bought the boy some socks and shoes for his christening today. $18 for socks and shoes he will wear one time. Good gracious, kids are expensive! Mom bought Ben some cute little Baby Gap outfits while we were out today too. They were having a mondo clearance on all the summer baby things. (Get over there while you can!)

Tom's dad gave me a cd full of pictures from Ben's birth and the first week. So my Month 1 album has been updated. The ones that were taken at our house with his family I don't remember AT ALL. It's a little scary. Either I was really hopped up on painkillers or I was asleep upstairs. It was, after all, our second day home. Hrm.

Guess that's all. Sorry so boring and rambly today!

I discovered by accident today that some people refer to my son as Tommy Ben. (but not around me!) It's sort of cute and a bit sneaky on their part. ;) You might expect me to be annoyed... but I'm amused. A little exclusive nickname all his own. Wonder if he'll ever HEAR it though. Hrm.

I'm tired today. So are Tom and Benjamin. Not because of any lack of sleep really, it's just kind of rainy and gray. One of those blah, sleepy days.

This morning we went to Tom's parents' church to meet with the minister about the christening next week. For those who don't know, we're having the baby christened in their church (an Episcopal church) because we don't really have a church of our own right now. Tom and I have been hunting since we got married but we differ a lot when it comes to church preference. He likes a more formal atmosphere (raised Episopalian), I'm a lot more laid back. (non-denominational, but not the wacky, dancy kind). Long story short, we found ourselves with a baby on the way and no church to call our own. It means a lot to Tom's parents to have him christened at their church though, so it's worked out really well.

After meeting with the minister er.. priest, they call her a priest, I keep forgetting, we went back to the Graffs' house for some quality some with Ben and the grandparents. He was in his happy baby mood (for once) and everyone got their Ben fix.

The boy came home and crashed for the afternoon... an attention hangover, I suspect. He's awake now though and playing the part of happy baby again.

I got to run to Target ALL by myself earlier! It was soooooo nice. When I'm not distracted with the baby though I tend to spend a lot more money. Oops. I bought a new bathroom set for the basement bathroom... it's all Monopoly themed. So cute -- especially since I have intended to make the whole basement into a board game theme since we moved in three years ago. I HAD to buy it!

My laptop is currently out of commission. Thank you SPYWARE. Grrrr.... Tom's working on it though... hopefully I'll have it back by Monday evening. Luckily, we're a multiple computer household. I'm highjacking Tom's computer right now while he's babysitting downstairs. Muahahahahaha...

The boy fell asleep after his swim today... It happened so quickly that I'm thinking of replacing his crib mattress with an inflatable raft.

Go Ben! I think part of it had to do with the fact that he wouldn't go to bed until 10:00 last night. But hey, if that means he'll sleep all night every night, he can stay up as long as he wants.

I feel sort of sick to my stomach this morning. I'm not sure what that's about, but it's bringing back some bad memories. Ick. Makes me glad I'm back on the pill so I don't really have to worry TOO much that this feeling means a sibling for Ben.

I wasn't going to go back on it, especially after my bad experience with it the last time. Made me feel all blah and yucky all the time. But since about all it took to get me pregnant was thinking "Gee, I might like to be pregnant this month," I thought it wise to go with the most reliable form of birth control afrter Ben was born. ;) My doctor gave me a new one that so far, doesn't seem to have the same side effects.

So back to the nausea... I dunno... but my Peanut Butter Toast Crunch just doesn't look all that appetizing right now. How sad. :( It's what I look forward to in the morning!

Please, steal, play! :)
 
FIRSTS
First job: Jumpy the Monkey at the now defunct Family FunJungle
First screen name: Erin31615 (randomly assigned to me by AOL, circa 1993)
First self-purchased CD: Uhhh... the soundtrack to Aladdin, I think
First piercing/tattoo: Ears, age 10'ish?
First true love: Chocolate. I mean, Tom, of course. ;)
First enemy: Jamie Arrington and or Heather Marcus... both lived in my neighborhood growing up. They thought I was a nerd, I thought they were morons.

LASTS
Last big car ride: West Virginia to see relatives back in May
Last kiss: Just kissed the baby goodnight 10 minutes ago. He smiled. :)
Last library book checked out: Living Outloud by Anna Quindlen. I checked it out in February of 1991. I still have it. Oops.
Last movie seen: In a theater? Shrek 2.
Last beverage drank: Vanilla Coke. I'm so annoyed we have it in the house. I'm sucking it down like water.
Last food consumed: Dole Tangerine Fruit Bar
Last phone call: Mom
Last CD played: The Shrek 2 Soundtrack
Last annoyance: Ben shreaking after his 3 o'clock nap
Last pop drank: See above reference to Vanilla Coke
Last ice cream eaten: Chocolate Chip Mint
Last time scolded: uh?…
 

I am: Pretty darn tired
I want: A baby that sleeps through the night.
I have: A baby that doesn't sleep through the night
I wish: My baby would sleep through the night
I hate: Getting up in the middle of the night
I fear: Baby will never sleep through the night
I hear: Silence. Baby sleeping?
I wonder: When baby will sleep through the night?
I regret: Not sleeping enough when I was pregnant
I love: Sleeping
I always: Sleep when I can
I am not: Full of energy these days
I dance: To get Ben to go to sleep
I sing: To get Ben to go to sleep
I cry: When dancing and singing don't work and Ben doesn't sleep

YES or NO:
You keep a diary: Yes, You've found it
You like to cook: Sometimes
You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: Not that I can think of
 
DO YOU…?
Have a crush: Please, like I have time for this
Want to get married: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and the baby)
Get motion sickness: Nope
You’re a health freak: HAHAHAHAHA. no.
Current hair color: Brownish Blonde
Eye color: Red and puffy, like someone who hasn't slept in awhile
Birthplace: Baltimore, MD

FAVORITES
Number: 8, the number of hours of consecutive sleep I would like to get
Color: Black, like night time, when people sleep
Day: Any day that Ben sleeps more than 4 hours at night
Month: Whichever month Ben decides to sleep through the night
Songs: Mr Sandman
Season: Winter, people sleep a lot in the winter
Drink: Alcohol makes people sleep, right?
 
PREFERENCES
Cuddle or make out: Cuddle.
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate: Both.
Milk, dark, or white chocolate: Chocolate, any kind

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU…
Cried? No. But get back to me when I'm up at 3a.m.
Helped someone? Helped Ben go to sleep
Bought something? Yes. A Book.
Gotten sick? No.
Gone to the movies? Oh that's funny. Truly you jest.
Written a real letter? No.
Written in a journal? You’re reading it.
Had a serious talk? Yes, with my four-month old, about sleeping
Missed someone? Nah.
Hugged someone? Yes. Ben. It helps him sleep.

***begin tech babble***
I bought the domain "Taleofababyhuman.com" two days ago with the intent of transferring my whole blog over there. Silly me, I didn't read the find print over at my host, Directnic. They don't support cgi or php...  I believe Blogger uses php. So now I have a domain name and hosting service  I've already paid for that I really can't use the way I wanted to. :(
 
Directnic told me I could have my new domain redirect to this site... but that's kind of lame. So I'll probably just use it to house my videos and slideshows for awhile until I figure something else out. Lame lame lame I say!
***end tech babble***
 
In baby news, Ben didn't do too well again last night. He was up at 3:30 and very annoyed. I brought him down on the couch for awhile... ended up staying awake while he slept until 5:00a.m. Ugh. For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep, so I laid there writing blog posts in my head. Unfortunately, I don't remember any of them. :: sigh :: That's okay, I'm sure anything I came up with at that hour didn't make any sense anyway!
 
Tom fed the boy his 5a.m. bottle, so I got to sleep a little bit. Tom is so much better at this baby thing than I ever thought he'd be. He used to joke when I was pregnant that he wouldn't get up in the middle of the night with the baby because, after all, he has to get up to to go to work.  Turned out to not be true. He gets up almost as often as I do, and doesn't usually complain about it. It's nice. :)
 
 
 
 

I made a slideshow out of some pictures I took today. It's teeny tiny... I promise! ;)

A year ago today I found out I was pregnant.

It's very weird to look at Benjamin sleeping next to me on the couch right now and think about that. A year ago he was a speck, smaller than a grain of rice. His existence made known only by two little pink lines on a stick and some strange gurgles in my stomach.

Today, he's a 14 pound little BOY.

How anyone can experience that miracle or even just be a witness to it and not believe in God, I can't understand. Tom and I look at him every day and are completely in awe of the whole process and what we helped to create.

How can so much happen in a year? It's hard to believe I went from not pregnant, to very pregnant, to not pregnant again and the mommy of a FOUR MONTH old all in that time. Seems like it all should have taken much longer. When I was going through it, it felt like forever. Now, looking back, it was like a blip in time. I guess he'll grow up just as quickly. This time next year, he'll be a year and four months old. He'll be walking and babbling and eating real food... more and more independent every day.

A year ago I found I was getting the most wonderful, tiny gift. A year ago I had NO idea what it meant. A year later, I am totally exhausted and frustrated and yet happier than I have ever been. I am TOTALLY in love with this little boy. What an awesome privilege to be his mommy...

Well, despite his pitiful eating habits, Benjamin has managed to grow an inch or two from this time last month. He can happily play in his exersaucer now. See exhibit A below.

Exhibit A



My mom calls this contraption "Stephen King like." She thinks it's downright scary with all its bells and whistles. Ben loves it though. He squeals whenever I stick him in it now and plays happily for 20 minutes at a time while I get things done. :) Yay for the exersaucer!

Most other babies I know Benjamin's age, and some that are younger even, are sucking down 8 ounce bottles like there is no tomorrow. I'm lucky if I can get Ben to take 5. And THIS week, I've been lucky if he'll take 4. I don't get it. He's GROWING and everything... but he really should be eating twice as much as he is. This morning, after having not eaten since 8:00 last night, he only took 3.5! I'll probably have a little freakout on the pediatrician when we go in a couple of weeks. He'll probably laugh at me. Some have suggested that maybe he's just not all that jazzed about formula and solids will be different. I'm DONE with the rice cereal though, it just puts him in a BAD mood, even with the gaqs drops. I guess we'll try something different in a few weeks... oatmeal... maybe a veggie or something.

I suspect I have a life of "Just one more bite, then you can go play outside." ahead of me. :
My big news from yesterday is that Tom had his annual salary review at work. (it still is amazing to me that some companies actually DO do these annually). He got a new title and a very generous raise, which will go a long way toward keeping me a stay-at-home mommy. (and getting me new bedroom furniture). Yay Tom!

Well, it seems our rough night has turned into a rough day. My little boy just can't seem to get himself together. I can't get him to eat much and he just keeps falling asleep. That would be fine except that he keeps waking up really grumpy. I don't know what HE has to grumpy about, he can sleep whenever he wants. I'm the one who should be grumpy. Strangely enough though, I have energy today and even ran out to Target to pick up a few things.

In other news, Ben has found his feet over the past week or so. He can't get enough of them. It's WAY cute. Observe.


Speaking of observagtions, while I was out, I observed something and was ranting to myself all the way home. So I have to share. What's with the suburban beggars that are all over the place now? They stand at major intersections and walk up and down with buckets, begging for money. They're not homeless or anything, or volunteer firemen, or even animal rescue folks... those people I could have compassion for. No. Our current local beggars are a group of chubby cheerleaders raising money for a trip to Hawaii. Why exactly would I want to give these girls money? And they are there EVERY day and have been for weeks... in their WAY too short shorts with "Cheerleader" printed on the butt. Ew. Ew. Ew. Who lets these people do this? Who do I complain to? County government? Isn't there a law against panhandling? Especially if you're not poor? UGH.

I tried rice cereal again with Ben yesterday. This time, I chased it with gas drops, as recommended by my friend Jen.

No adverse side effects this time ... Yay! I was talking to Tom about feeding Ben and how there are ways to tell when a baby is ready for solid food. I mentioned that I had read how they will be fascinated in other people eating but that I hadn't really noticed this with Ben.

Well, unbeknownst to me, Tom has been observing this every morning for two weeks. He said that Ben will watch the spoon go into his mouth and his eyes get really big and then he acts like he's chewing while Tom is chewing. How funny is that? Even funnier is that's one of the other signs that your baby is ready for solid food.

So we'll try cereal again today... maybe next week we'll move on to a vegetable. But which one?! Oh the decisions. ;)

My child is never going to sleep through the night. Never.

He's up again tonight. I've been up doing pacifier runs since 12:30. At 2:45, he woke up and stayed up. I carried him into the bedroom and practically threw him at Tom. I don't know what to do and I feel like I've tried everything. Things work temporarily and we'll have a good night here and there and then we have these nights. I hate it. And what I hate more is reading the stupid March 2004 IVillage Message Board everyday and seeing the subject "My baby sleeps through the night!" from 50 different people. Well a big fat "YAY." for them. What are WE doing wrong? Do I need to resort to letting him cry it out? I'll try anything at this point. Four months of so little sleep makes a person pretty desperate. He's screaming his head off right now downstairs with Tom. There is NOTHING wrong with him... he's full, dry and being held. I find it difficult to feel sorry for him under these circumstances. Being extremely annoyed with him comes much easier.

My new book came today!


Ben is sleeping and it's yucky outside! I rarely curl up with a good book, but this seems like a good a time as any!

They were dressed alike yesterday... couldn't resist a picture.

I didn't write this, wish I had. I found it in the comments section over at Chookooloonks. First of all, it's always nice to know other people are going through the same thing, i.e. my baby isn't the only one over 3 months and still not quite sleeping through the night. (this is almost exactly how our nights play out) Second of all, what a way to put it all in perspective! Without further adieu...
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It's 4:47 am. My 4 1/2 mo old is usually in here around 4. She stirs, won't go back to sleep in her crib--I go in her room, happily scoop her up and place her solidly in the middle of our bed. She settles her little body into a comfortable position, stretches out her arms to touch both of us at once, and turns her head toward me. She falls back asleep. I typically move her sleeping daddy's elbow from its precarious position near her head, stirring and annoying him. In the morning, I feign disdain to daddy. But the reality is, when this little warm one is ensconced between us in the wee hours, her tiny fingers gently lighting against my gown, I am in heaven.

But she's late. I keep hearing her griping through the baby monitor, and then finding that comfortable position that leads her back to slumber--without mommy--she quiets. Independence. Good for her, I guess.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was complaining about having to get up and down, comforting her back to sleep. This would go on from 2 am on till 4 am, when I would give up and bring her in here. Now that she's sleeping from 1 to 4 without fussing...and now this...I miss her.

They grow up so fast.

Wait, I hear stirring, unabated. A little cry...a definite whine...she's clearly crying out. I'm gone!

But oh no...daddy just got up...I can hear from the monitor that he's doing the Marcus thing...soothing her to sleep in her crib. Aargh! He's on to me. Nosey little bugger was probably reading my post as I tapped away, pretending to sleep.

I don't hear her anymore.... Sigh. Soon she'll be off to college.

Today I took Benjamin over to my Aunt Gail's pool for his first swim! After dressing him in his one-piece girly suit and slathering him in SPF50 from head to toe, we finally put him in the pool.

He ... LOVED ... it.

Also, who knew knew a diaper could hold so much water? I guess I won't worry anymore when he sleeps 10 hours in the same diaper. ;)
Here are some pictures from our adventure...





and here are the rest of the pictures if you're interested...

Ben's sleep pattern is deteriorating again. I really thought we were on to something with the tummy sleeping. And I guess there is something to it... he definitely doesn't wake up as often and sleeps for a longer stretch before he starts waking up. But he STILL wakes up around 3a.m. and starts playing the spit the pacifier out game. :( My gut tells me that this is probably when he starts to realize he's a little bit hungry and that this problem will fix itself once he starts eating a little more and/or starts eating solids on a regular basis. I hope I'm right because this waking up all night thing is getting...really... old.

Our sweet baby has also taught himself a new trick, one which leads me to believe that he DID get some of his father's genes after all. He screams at the top of his lungs. Not an upset scream, a happy, happy, HAPPY scream. He likes to see how loud he can scream and then he smiles really big like he's vyer proud his accomplishment.

It's really cute, especially when you sit down and have a conversation with him where you both scream back and forth for awhile. But I can see how it might stop being cute in a hurry. Hrm.

Ben isn't quite himself today. I think he's picked up a mild version of the cold Tom and I both have had. He's a just a little sniffly and fussy... and right now, he's sleeping. I've been passing the time by cleaning my kitchen.

I'm cleaning like I'm pregnant or something. I didn't really nest when I was pregnant, except a couple weeks before I had the baby, I did clean out the pantry, alphabetize the spices, and arrange the boxed items by height. Okay, so I may have nested a LITTLE.

Today I seem to have regressed back to prego-land. Have you ever cleaned the top of your refrigerator? I hadn't. Never even thought about it. But today I got up on a stepladder and I tackled it. Ew. It was almost black. I also found a loaf of bread and a whole wheat pita that were at least a year old. When I tossed the bag with the pita in it down to the floor it actually cracked into a million pieces. Yikes.

So two hours later, my kitchen is spotless. I even put together the baby's highchair and found a place for it. :) Yay me. And Ben is still sleeping... so what now?

I'm thinking lunch and some trashy daytime television. ;)

Have you ever been so excited about the cereal you have in the house that THAT is what motivates you to get out bed in the morning? I have that going on right now with Peanut Butter Toast Crunch. Yum.

I think we'll be holding off on more cereal for Benjamin until after his 4-month checkup when the pediatrician says it's okay. He had a pretty scary meltdown last night (actually, he woke up out of a sound sleep) and screamed his little head off. It was a new scream that was DEFINITELY one of pain. We tried everything... gas drops, baby orajel (in case it was from teething), and baby Tylenol (to cover everything else). Eventually he let out two of the weirdest and longest burps I have ever heard and then he settled down. I don't know if this was actually related to the cereal -- but the whole event caused so much trauma for all three of us that I'd just as soon wait a little longer on solid food if it means I might be able to avoid THAT again.

In other news, I'm FINALLY feeling better, except for the goo that is still collecting in my throat. Gross. And everytime I cough, Ben jumps about 9 feet and sometimes even starts to cry. Yikes.

Speaking of crying... the boy is fussing for his first nap, so I should go help him out with his predicament. Blog later! :)

Today, I tried something new with Ben. Rice cereal. I mean I actually DID try it. It's nasty. Not sure what Ben thought of it... he just sort of mushed it around in his mouth and/or let it run down his chin. I don't even know if any made it down the hatch. But it was fun. ;) I thought this little event called for a new video. Click on the picture below to start it. :) (it's about 3MB so give it minute or two)

Awwwwwwwwww!


I love this kid! :)

I realized something this morning... I can't call out sick from this mommy job.

I'm still fighting this wretched summer cold and unfortunately, Tom had to leave for work a little early for a meeting in New Jersey. I originally got up around 4:45 to feed Ben then I got sleep from about 5:30 - 6:30 (after Ben fell asleep again), but after that I had no choice but to get up with a VERY wide awake baby when Tom had to leave at 6:45. Hrm... Okay, so this job has a lot of perks, but isn't real flexible with time off. ;)

Luckily, when he's not napping, Benjamin has been pretty happy to entertain himself on the floor today while I lay on the chair and occasionally tickle his feet.

Here's a picture of the boy from the pool party we went to yesterday. Doesn't he look cool in his sun hat? ;)

To all those who continue to tell me a baby needs to cry because it's exercise...and that sometimes "babies just need to cry." (aaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Read.

My big secret is that my friends Josh and Jenn are going to have a baby! She's 5 weeks pregnant and due next March. I'm so excited because my mom and Josh's mom are best friends and get be grandmas to babies almost the same age! Plus, it will be so nice to have another mommy around my age closeby! Yay! :D


OH! And Operation Tummy Snooze was an amazing success. Benjamin has slept entirely through the night for the past two nights. Not even a PEEP out of him until 5a.m.!

And since this is a post of random babbling, here's a picture of Benjamin from yesterday wearing his American flag onsie. ;) It says "Born in the USA" hee hee...

I'm sick. Bad cold or something... :( It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so worried about the baby getting it and if I could just bring myself to let Tom totally take care of him. I'm doing okay, I guess... Tom got him upt his morning, fed him and changed his diaper. So far, so good. But when he cries I find myself running from whatever room I'm in. :: sigh :: This mommy stuff is hard.
I'm so glad Tom is off work today because I do NOT know how I'd take care of Ben myself today.

Went to my in-laws house for July 4th. There was tons of great food but I didn't feel like eating. And Ben was horribly sleep-deprived, so he was in a bad, bad mood. We spent most of the afternoon on the couch inside together. I'm sorry to everyone who Ben screamed at yesterday. When he's tired like that, he really only wants his mommy. He's honestly not a cry-baby... though other people probably think so because we always end up going places when he needs a nap. :(

Today we're going to another pool party. Not sure I'm really up for swimming, but sitting in the sun might be nice. :)

Someone on my March 2004 message board found this video. It's a news report on 4-d ultrasounds and shows a fetus walking, jumping and yawning at only 12 WEEKS! It's absolutely amazing ... don't be surprised if it brings you to tears.
My 4-D ultrasound at 31 weeks was incredible... but to see a 12-week fetus doing all the things a newborn baby does is just ... WOW.

If the link doesn't take you directly to it, scroll down... it's right in the middle under the video of Marlon Brando.

Tonight is the first night of Operation Tummy Snooze -- a last ditch effort to try and reclaim our sleep.

7:00 - Ben gets a warm bath, clean diaper and Pooh jammies, followed by cuddling with mommy

7:30 - Mommy puts drowsy Ben in crib on tummy

7:35 - Ben rolls over

7:36 - Mommy flips Ben back over

7:37 - Ben rolls over

7:38 - Mommy extracts Ben from crib and rocks him

7:40 - Ben zonks

7:45 - Mommy puts an aleep Ben back in crib on tummy

8:00 - A double check by daddy confirms Ben is asleep

... to be continued...

Okay, back... and rested!
Tom got him up like every night around 10 to feed him and put him back to sleep on his tummy. We all slept totally uninterupted until 2a.m....but then I just went in and gave him the pacifier and he went right back to sleep. This happened about three more times between 2 and 3.. but then he slept until 5! This is progress!!!

I was just out running errands and have arrived home completely annoyed.

1) One of the things I ran out to get was a box of baby rice cereal for Ben. (we're thinking about starting it sooner than later). They were out of it at two out of THREE places I went. What gives? Is every baby in the surrounding area starting rice cereal this week?

2) When I got my car, I had three heavy bags, the cart, and Ben in his infant seat to deal with. I managed to get my trunk open and put the bags away... then I took the cart over to the cart return, picked up Ben (it's getting to be a struggle) and started to head back to my car. The whole time I'm doing all of this, there is a car across from me slowly backing out. The woman (who I now refer to with a name that rhymes with "itch") just watches me struggle through my whole routine THEN she STOPS her car (halfway out of it's parking space) gets OUT, shoots daggers at me with her eyes and rams my now empty shopping cart further into the little cart corral. Then she gets back in her car (STILL glaring at me and mumbling under her breath), slams her door and screeches away. NICE. REAL nice, lady. Obviously she has never had to going shopping with an infant. I'm SO sorry I didn't push my cart far enough in for you... but was all that drama REALLY necessary? People can be SO inconsiderate and just plain mean.

In other news... I have a secret. It's an exciting, juicy secret that I have to sit on until Sunday! And it's KILLING me. It's nothing earth-shattering to about 99% of my blog readers, but to the other 1%... wow... you're gonna be FLOORED. And did I mention it's exciting?! I can't wait until everyone knows!!! (and no, I'm not pregnant again nor does it have anything to do with Tom, Ben, myself or anyone in my immediate family)

Whew. That was lots of typing. I've worked up an appetite. Going to go find some food! Blog later! :)

Model XY2004. Gently used. Very cute. Sold AS IS. Needs some work with nighttime sleep mode. Will trade for a week's worth of sleep.

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But in all seriousness... something has GOT to be done. It starts at midnight. I've been up since then. AGAIN. The boy can't put himself back to sleep. We tried feeding him more at 10pm, I tried feeding him again when he woke up at midnight. He just got FURIOUS with me, as if to say, "You dummy, NO that's not what I want. Try again!"

He's warm.

He's dry.

He's full.

He's screaming.

I'm crying.

I don't know what to do. I NEED sleep. I can't be a good mommy, wife, or even a functional human without it. It's time for him to freakin' SLEEP.

-----------editor's note-------------------------------------------------------
I did just try something that seems to have stopped the screaming. Out of sheer desperation and flying in the face of baby safety experts everywhere, I flipped him over on his tummy. He sleeps like that for naps so I thought, why not? He stopped crying right away but he's still awake and looking all over the place. :: sigh :: Could this be the key? Could it really be this simple?
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----------editor's note 2-------------------------------------------------------
He's asleep, no pacifier... on his tummy. Sorry Dr.'s. Looks like tummy sleeping it is. I suspect if he could roll back to front yet, he'd have done it himself. It's 4:30 now, should I just go downstairs, make coffee and watch bad tv until the 5:30 feeding? Or should I try to go back to sleep myself? Hrm.

Benjamin would be SUCH a good sleeper ... if only it weren't for the pacifier. Aye aye aye. He started at 12:30 last night and was up every 20 minutes (after spitting it out) until 2:00 when I gave up and brought him to bed with us. Tom and I took turns holding the pacifier in his mouth. Then he woke up at 4a.m. screaming his head off to eat. (an hour early.)

Tom has a theory that we should try to feed him more at 10:00p.m. (his last feeding) I told him to go for it. If he can get Ben to take more than 5 ounces, more power to him.

I still think one night this weekend we're going to have to play the tough love game with the pacifier when he's sleeping. I cannot continue to get up every 20 minutes to stick it back in... I can barely function these days! He CAN and DOES sleep without it sometimes, so it's not impossible. :\ sigh...

I've been working on this all morning. I should be napping since Benjamin was up all night. But more on that later.

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