In all its glory...


And here I am at 20 weeks with Benjamin... this is the last comparison pic I have until 36 weeks. Ack! Yeah, didn't take so many last time.

We started cleaning out the office tonight. OHMAHGAH we had packed a lot of stuff into that tiny room. The hallway is currently full of diaper boxes and rubbermaid bins FILLED with stuff. There were three bags of trash... Tom's youngest brother may be coming over tomorrow to watch the football game, so Tom says they might move some of the furniture downstairs. (and hopefully ALL of the boxes that go with it) A bunch of stuff will go in the attic, but I'm not sure how. :\

**updated**
Tom's STUFF... it has finally made its way to the attic and I now have fears the ceiling is going to come down on our heads.

A trip to Baby Depot and Babies R Us today yielded some fun new nursery ideas...here are the options... can't decide, can't decide!

This one is my favorite... but of course, it's the priciest... I like how simple it is.
Starlight


I like that how bold the colors are in this set. Very VERY different from Ben's room and/or nursery.
Alphabet Soup


Adorable. Little froggies and ducks! But froggies are kinda Ben's thing... Sooo, might be out just based on that. But fits the color scheme I like!
Froggy Tales


Interesting. It's hard to see in the picture, but the colors are green, yellow, black and white. Also pretty pricey... probably my least favorite of any of them...
Honey Bee


Generic, gender-neutral safari animals. Fits my color scheme and budget... otherwise, eh...? (mostly because I feel like I've seen this one in several other nurseries, so it must be pretty popular)
Malawi


Any thoughts? Opinions? Walls will more than likely be painted yellow regardless of which one of these we go with....

Okay, so.. FUN! Pottery Barn apparently discontinued the nursery set I liked within the last oh... five hours or so. It's just gone. Kaput. No longer on the website. Ebay, oh yes, it's on Ebay... but what a pain.

So back to the drawing board. I've been browsing the baby sites and it's hard to find something I like that isn't either blue (my favorite color to decorate with) or green (the color of Ben's old nursery that I was never particularly fond of) or has bunnies on it. (Ben's nursery was Guess How Much I Love you and I swear if I see one more cuddly bunny I will puke)

I want something that has a yellow in it because I want to paint the walls yellow... THAT I am set on.

Off to Google... stupid Pottery Barn...

I've been rereading some of my blog posts from this point in the pregnancy with Ben and I'm finding things like this:

"In baby news, Benjamin is moving more and more everyday. He seems to move around the most once I am settled into bed for the night, despite me telling him that it's time for sleep. Hrm.

The point is, whenever I stop doing things, it's like the baby says, "I'm bored!!! ::kick kick:: HEY! What are we gonna do now! ::wham:: How 'bout some of that music.. or food!! Yeah! ::kick:: food would be good!! Anything but sleeeeeep!!! :: kick kick kick kick kick kick :: Sleep is BORRRRRRRING... ::kick::" "

"Okay, so I've come to the conclusion that this child has a sense of humor. He/she seems to have some sort of sixth sense as to when Tom leaves the room. Why? Because that's when he/she starts kicking the living daylights out of my bladder in what can only be described as a viscious attempt to get the heck out of his/her uterine prison. "

If that doesn't describe my son TO A TEE even to this day, I don't know what does. Never happy just sitting, laying around or doing nothing. Going going going since conception. He pulled himself up at four months, sat up around the same time, crawled early, walked early and has been giving me heart attacks every since. A friend of my mom's jokes that he came out of me sitting up.

This baby? I can tell you right now, is a horse of a different color.

Baby Too moves plenty, sure. But it's just certain times of the the day and it will just be 5-10 minutes of little kicks and rolls and then? Quiet.

By this point, Benjamin was kicking almost 24/7 and hard enough for it to be felt outside pretty regularly. Even during the ultrasound, (with an entire Starbucks mocha in the system during ultrasound #2) Baby Too's movements were slow, calm... almost graceful... little head movements, thumb sucking (Ben never did that) no crazy jumps, flips or rolls. (Ben moved so much on the ultrasound that the tech had to chase him around my stomach)

I'm so certain this general personality will hold true when B2 is born, that I'd put money on it. And I'm SO looking forward to the differences. Ben alone is FUN, Ben x 2 would just be complete and utter insanity.

You could just go ask the cashier in lane #4 at the Towson Target. She's "my" cashier, this really nice tiny little older lady. I always go through her line, and she has rung up at least 30 pregnancy tets for me in the last year or so... (I know! A small fortune!) so she's pretty invested in our story. ;) Anyway, she asked if we knew the sex while I was there today and I spilled it without hesitation. I figured she'll be ringing up plenty of gender specific clothes/items in the next few months, so she'd have known anyway.

And HOW good did it feel to tell?! Glorious. But that's it. From now on, my lips are sealed.

I went back this morning for another ultrasound... everything was fine. The ventricles they forgot to measure were in the brain and all looked perfect. To compensate me for all the "trouble" of having to go back to the hospital for ANOTHER ultrasound (oh yeah, WHAT an inconvenience to have to have ANOTHER ultrasound...heh heh heh), she did a quick 3D one and gave me a few pictures.

This was really the only good one. A fetus at 20 weeks is frankly, still a little scary looking from most angles. Isn't this sweet, though? I haven't had a chance to compare the pic to Ben's 3D pics, but I'm sure they resemble each other.


Turns out I DO have placenta previa, specifically, marginal placenta previa. This means the baby implanted very low and the smallest (and "non meaty", as she called it) tip of the placenta is touching the cervix. She told me to really and truly NOT be concerned and that she was confident it would move as the uterus stretches over the coming weeks. But that I will have to come back in for an ultrasound around 32 weeks to check it. (oh DARN! Another ultrasound!) ;) So for now, I will put it out of my head and just say a little prayer every night that it does what she says it will. :)

Anyway, everything looks wonderful with Baby Too, who, for the time being, will remain just "Baby Too". Sorry!


**updated to add:** I couldn't help it... left is Baby Too at 20 weeks, right is Benjamin at 31 weeks... I'm biased, of course, but I do think they look alike! Though Baby Too needs to fatten up quite a bit! ;)

I decided it was time to start thinking about Baby Too's nursery, so I was browsing PBKids.com and found the CUTEST set.

You'll notice it's kind of gender neutral. (convenient, eh? now even if we do get to find out the sex, I can have people over and not worry about them wandering into the nursery)

So here's the thing. Even if Baby Too is a girl, that doesn't change the fact that I HATE pink. Yeah, pink touches would be "okay", but I could never base an entire room on pink.

AND...

If Baby Too is a boy, I don't really want to choose a typical blue-based boy bedding either because that would be the THIRD blue room upstairs. (Ben's room and the hall bath are both shades of blue) And the master bedroom has blue in it.

So I'm thinking this set would work for either one and I'd paint the wall yellow like the room in the picture.

Now I just have to figure out a plan to clear the current furniture and stuff out of there... where to start...

I had one of those speedy, second-trimester appointments today... weighed (a lot), pee check, heartbeat (ba boom!)... She was in the middle of saying, "See you next month and have a great new year!" when I had to interrupt to mention my sinus infection. Yay! She gave me Zythromiacin so I should be on the mend soon.

I also asked about the low placenta thing, but now I'm just confused because she said a low placenta ALWAYS moves up and doesn't endanger a vaginal delivery... but a placenta PREVIA does, though those can move up and out of the way too.
But the u/s tech said I'd have to come back at 32 weeks to make SURE it moved up or I'd need a c-section, so now I don't know if I just have a low placenta or a placenta previa... blah blah blah. The doctor didn't have my u/s results back yet, so she was in the dark anyway. I guess they won't send them until after Thursday. Argh.

There is way too much waiting involved in pregnancy...

THANK GOODNESS... because I think I have a sinus infection... this cold will just not leave and my head is pounding. Hopefully she can give me something because let me tell you, taking only Tylenol? JUST not cutting it.

It's also always fun to see where my weight has ended up after four weeks... (eep!) and I have some paranoid questions (of course) about my "low placenta".

In other news, my "oops" ultrasound is Thursday (since they forgot so measure something or other), so we'll get another opportunity to figure out the sex of Baby Too. I sure hope they can tell, because my husband (who has no more knowledge about the sex than I do... which is ZIPPO) keeps referring to the baby as "he" and saying things to Ben about "little brother", which would be great if we knew it was a boy... but I feel bad that he could be calling a little girl a boy! (he did this with Ben too and I kept yelling at him) I also feel bad calling a baby "it", but don't feel right calling it either one until we know one way or another. He can't seem to help himself... he says since he grew up with all boys, that every baby is a boy in his head until proven otherwise. Blah.

Will update after my doctor's appointment...

In between puking yeserday, I somehow managed to keep down 7 ounces of water for my ultrasound...


Baby Too is perfect! We counted fingers and toes,

...saw it sucking its thumb and were able to see that not only does it have the same giant head that its brother has (ouch!), but a very similar profile as well. (and wow, I just realized that in this picture, the head looks even bigger than Ben's... let's hope it's the fact that it's a more closeup shot because... seriously, OW)



Unfortunately, because I was so sick, baby wasn't entirely cooperative and neither was my stomach... so the gender is still a mystery, which is actually kinda nice. Takes the pressure of me to tell!

I have to go back next Thursday because they forgot to get a measurement for one of the ventricles (spelling?), so maybe I'll find something out then. Or... maybe not. Muahahahaha....

I also have to go back at 32 weeks because the plancenta is currently very low. They tell me its very common at this point in pregnancies and that 90% of the time, it will migrate upwards as the uterus stretches. The tech reassured me not to be concerned about it. However, if it were to stay low, I'd need a c-section, no ifs, ands or buts. So now that we know Baby Too is healthy, please direct your prayers toward my placenta. Thank you. :)

Oh, so yeah, priot to my ultrasound, I gave my OB a call to see if there is anything I should do about the puking, since I hadn't even kept water down since 2p.m. the day before. She was going to call in a prescription for Phenegran suppositories (fun!!) for me, but when I mentioned I was already AT the hospital anyway, she sent me up to L&D after the ultrasound for the quick-acting injection version. I had to be admitted, hospital gowned, the whole nine yards.. just for a SHOT. But man that stuff works... AND it knocked me out within a half hour, so I spent the rest of the afternoon in a happy, drug-induced fog. Feeling better today finally... hoping eating is on the horizon. Food would be nice. Then again, the pukey bug has slowed down the pregnancy weight gain a bit. ;)

Me: Hey, Tom, I have an OB appointment on the 26th, do you want to come with me this time?

Tom: Uhhh... is anything interesting going to happen?

Me: Just the usual... she'll listen to the heartbeat, measure me... yada yada..

Tom: Do you care if I don't go?

Me: Not really?

Tom: Um, I'll pass..

(let me preface by saying that no, I don't know what I'm having yet... didn't want that title to be misleading...)

But yeah, so anyway, I don't even know why I'm bothering thinking about trying to keep the sex of this baby a secret because apparently, everyone but me already knows it's a girl. Let's see... there's my mom and her gaggle of girlfriends, all the women at Gymboree, my internet friends... you name it. They ALL think I'm carrying a girl.

Their reasons are varying... ranging from "just a hunch" to the shape of my tummy, to the somewhat high heartrate (Ben's was high too, people!) to the fact that I have milder symptoms this time around. Luckily, no one has tried to pin me down and hold a ring on string over my stomach yet.

If it turns out to be a boy at the utlrasound, part of me wants to tell the world just so I can be all, "HAHA you were ALL wrong!"
If it turns out to be a girl, I'm going to be bursting with the news because seriously... I'm not supposed to have girls. The family statistics are stacked against me... as is the fact that I am not a fan of Barbie or the color pink.

So we'll see...

I was hanging out over on Val's blog early this morning when I was again, awake at an ungodly hour... she is starting to ask the tough questions about childbirth and the first days postpartum. Stupid me, I never asked a lot of these questions and so things like random hemmerhoid checks, being grilled about whether or not you have used the bathroom yet (either one, nurses are obsessively interested in both!), XXL icepack maxi pads, the night sweats (my GOSH the night sweats), and blood clots the size of my head were all fun little surprises!

Thanks to my friend Meghan, who had her baby two weeks before me, however, the mesh panties at least, were not a total shocker.


Seriously. The whole experience is just indescribably undignifiying. Luckily, I was out of it enough due to lack of sleep and general discomfort and so distracted by the baby that I didn't really give it much thought at the time... just the scattered, "Wow. This is really humiliating!" thought followed by total gratefulness for the nurses who kept showing up with warm squirt bottles of water to hose things down.

Wow. Someone remind me why do people do this more than once?

I was laying awake last night at around 4:30 a.m... (stupid acid reflux)... it was so quiet in the house and I just laid there for a while reveling in the "aloneness" of the moment. I put my hand on my stomach, which is kind of a reflex these days and suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore. "Thump!" One solid little kick right at my hand... then quiet again.

I guess Baby Too just wanted to let me know he/she was there too... ;)

Looking more and more like I am smuggling a basketball...



I really don't wear the same clothes all the time (okay, yeah, actually I do.. my wardrobe is kinda limited lately).. but I PURPOSELY do it on the days I take these pictures... makes it easier to compare. :)

In a slightly more bizarre dream involving a do-it-yourself 3-D ultrasound and two of my pregnant neighbors along for the ride... it's another girl!

Girls take the lead!

Girls: 4 Boys: 3

People keep pointing out the cons of us keeping the sex of this baby a secret.
Some are valid.

For instance, if I don't do a gender neutral nursery, I'll have to keep people out of there until the baby is born.

Or, I'll get tons of yellow and green stuff. Honestly, as far as that goes? I just figured that this is my second child... I'm not expecting gifts, I don't need **anything** (with the exception of a few small replacement-type items I plan on picking up myself in the coming months) And, if it's a girl and people feel the need to get us a frilly outfit or something, they'll get it after the baby is born anyway.

And then ther is poor Yaya Joanie... she is sad because she'll have to cross-stitch a gender neutral bib. ;) See, I think she thought that was her ticket to finding out... but NOPE!

Yes, there are small logistical issues with not telling. Plus, it just might nearly kill me to keep the secret. But in the end, it will be worth it to make this second time around extra special. :) (if you think I sound like I'm trying to convince myself, you'd be at least a tiny bit right)

Last night's dream sequence featured an "It's a girl!" ultrasound. Though I spent the entire dream after the announcement trying to get the ultrasound tech to give me a picture so people would believe me.

We're back to a tie as this latest dream brings the tally to...
Girl: 3 Boy: 3

I told Tom the other night that I am almost halfway done and his response was,
"That's not right. The baby's due in MAY!"

He kept insisting it wasn't right and I just kept saying, "I'll be 20 weeks in less than three weeks... a pregnancy is 40 weeks."

Finally, it clicked and he was equally astounded.

I'm starting to get antsy for my ultrasound now because I'm feeling the need to get moving on the nursery. I'm actually sitting in that room right (a.k.a. "the office") surrounded by boxes taken out of the closet so that I could get to the gift-wrapping supplies that were underneath everything. This is truly going to be a monumental task with much Freecycling involved. Yesterday, I got rid of two cd racks. Now I just need to get to work on the two giant boxes of cd's.

I turn to my right and I see a closet full of Tom's old baseball cards and baseball equipment, as well as other odds and ends. Behind me, a large, somewhat useless table. To my left, a somewhat unsteady Ikea bookshelf filled with books Tom will never look at again. Such great titles as: "Managerial Economics", "Economic Liberties", and "Financial Markets and Institutions". (sigh)

Overwhelming... add to that this room (actually, the whole upstairs except for Ben's room and the bathroom) needs to be painted, BADLY. Kind of makes me wish I had more than 20 weeks to go... but not quite. ;)

Morning sickness made a comeback this morning. (sigh) Oh well... really, I am more than happy to puke for the next 23 weeks if it means I get a healthy baby when it's over... but I did sort of think I might get off easy this time. No such luck.

On the bright side, I started feeling movement as soon as I woke up this morning, so I guess I'm officially in that stage. It's such a nice feeling... all the little wriggles and thumps. (and eventually pushes and big kicks!) I can't wait until I can start identifiying body parts. I remember with Ben, I could always feel his head, his right knee, and sometimes even his right foot!

I did not throw up this morning!! (happy dance)
I'm not counting any chickens just yet... but the timing is about right. It lasted ten weeks with Ben. It's been 11 weeks this time...

:D

Also, last night, I FINALLY felt one of those BIG HUGE baby flips that made me gasp for a second. YAY!

Labels: milestone, pregnancy symptoms, week 18

We had a little cookie exchange in our neighborhood last night and I came home with SIX DOZEN assorted cookies. What's a pregnant cookie-lover to do? Start with the chocolate ones, of course! Three chocolate chips, one peanut blossom and a blackbottom later, I'm so stuffed I could pop. I'm sure I've gained two pounds. And the baby's heartrate is in the high 160's. (a.k.a. sugar high)

Someone, please come eat my cookies... save me from myself!

When I was pregnant with Benjamin, I used to get this weird, pushing feeling on the front of my right hip. I eventually surmised that it was him stretching out. That's what it felt like... as if someone stuck put their foot in that general direction and then PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHED. Just weird.

Well, it's baaaaaaack. And it still feels weird!

Also to be noted today: my size small maternity pants are on their way out. They are getting tight in the thighs and the tummy panel on the pair I am about to change out of is digging into my ribs. (sigh) This is how I ended up with a maternity wardrobe spanning from two sizes bigger than my usual size to size medium maternity... (and some large size shirts) I way underestimated last time how big I'd get... my previous stupididy is working out well for me this time, because I have a TON of clothes to choose from! :)

TLC is on in my living room as it often is at this point in the day...

I just happened to walk into the room just as some chick was getting her epidural. Ya know, I'm pretty good with needles but THAT was enough to make me consider not getting one next time around.

I'm happy I didn't SEE it go in when I had mine... it just looks horribly uncomfortable. In reality, I don't remember feeling much of anything... a pinch when they numbed the spot, and then a weird achy feeling that sort of traveled down a nerve in my back and settled in my side, followed by blissful numbness. I'll keep reminding myself of that and try to get the very closeup image I just saw of the needle going in OUT of my head.

For once, I actually have something to compare it to! Please note, I even put on the same ugly blue shirt so the conditions were as similar as possible. (please excuse the mess in the background, I decided to take the belly pic BEFORE I put the laundry away and made the bed!)



I was SHOCKED to see that I seem to be SMALLER this time!! I really would have put money on being noticeably larger... I can also see my face is less puffy this time and well, the chest is smaller. (which also shocked me) I'm thinking all of this is can at least partially be atttributed to the fact that I started out this pregnancy about 15 pounds lighter. But who knows?

Last night, I had a birth dream... I was more paranoid that the baby was term than I was about pushing it out, so I kept trying to check my due date calculator but no one would let me. Finally, I felt that godawful "must push" feeling and I asked for a mirror. (why?! why?!) with which I watched a baby BOY be born... (the whole thing was unrealistically pain-free, btw) It was probably the most vivid/real/memorable gender dream I have had thusfar.

Dream tally stands at: Boy: 3 Girl: 2

**update** Found a version of that site I was looking for. It's not the same one I used to use, but similar enough!

Tom and I FINALLY narrowed down our girl name choices to one we both love. I'm actually pretty surprised at the one we have decided on because it's not even close to a) Benjamin's girl name (Madeline) or our next-in-line girl name that I had to nix after that little girl terror at Gymboree ruined it for me. (still keeping it quiet just in case we have a last-minute change of heart).

Like our boy name, I imagine it's one people will initially crinkle their noses at but it will grow on them eventually. I'm pleased that we found one we liked that isn't insanely trendy yet... the SSA has it only in the top 500'ish. If this were 1911 though, I'd have to rethink it, since at that point it was among the top 200! ;) Those are your only hints! I'm sure some of you will have fun with that. :)

I do have one or two lingering concerns about the name and I'm looking for a website I found once when I was pregnant with Ben. You could search for names and it would show you a page with comments from people who actually have that name... what they like and don't like about it, nicknames they were given, ways people used the name to tease them... etc. Does anyone know where I might find that site again? I have googled and googled and just can't find it.

Anyway, goes to show you, it's always good to keep an open mind... I'm so glad I revisited the baby name book when I first got pregnant. I was so set on those other two names and probably never would have considered this one. :)

I'm sorry I can't elaborate. I know it's annoying. But I'm determined that it will be a surprise... This will probably be the last post on the topic just because I know it HAS to be irritating.

Now, with that out of the way... time to sit back and wait to actually find out if we'll be using our boy name or our girl name!!

The all-day nausea is gone... thank goodness. I still get sick once in the morning, but then I'm okay to eat. That's nice, because before, I'd have to wait until 9:30 or 10 to put anything in my stomach and I'd be SO hungry by that time!

The acid reflux is under control with the help of Zantac. HOW did I ever live without that stuff last time?! It's so nice not to have to deal with the constant burning in my chest and throat!

Of course, in pregnancy, as one symptom ends/gets reigned in, another begins... now I have the shortness of breath. I feel like I am constantly out of breath, especially if I run up a flight of stairs. Experience tells me this will only get worse over the next 24 weeks, so I'm just settling in to deal with it. It's the curse of the short-waisted pregnant woman. A few more inches in my torso, and I probably wouldn't have this problem, at least not this early.

I took my first belly picture with Benjamin at 16.5 weeks. So come tomorrow, I'll have a side-by-side comparison for you to decide for yourself if I look bigger this time around. I actually think it's pretty similar, except of course, that this belly sits a little lower.

Everyone under the sun, even people I don't know and have never met, have been telling me they are sure this baby is a girl.

You know, I have no idea, no guesses, and I really don't care. My preoccupation this time has way more to do with the health of this baby and the pregnancy (that's what two miscarriages will do for your perspective, I suppose) But, I'll tell you this! I put exactly ZERO credence in what other people seem to think because they were ALL WRONG last time. Every last one of them! ;) We'll all find out if the general consensus is right in 24 weeks, I guess! :)

Saturday night was my last dose of progesterone! So far, so good. No cramping, spotting or other weirdness to freak me out.

So, everyone knows that when you blog about something: i.e. "My kid slept through the night!" "He stayed dry all day!" "She naps like a pro!" it comes back to bite you and the opposite happens the following day. Go ahead, try it... happens everytime.

Yesterday, I posted that I hadn't felt much in the way of movement...

Today? Flip flops all morning long.

So lets put this theory to the test, shall we?

I DON'T have millions of dollars and a little victorian house with a white picket fence on two acres. I wish I did!

Now... we sit back and wait for the blog to work its magic... ;)

Looking back on my blog posts from 15-16 weeks with Benjamin, I read that he was flipping and flopping all over the place. This baby? I have only felt (I think) a handful of times, and most of it was REALLY early on. Now? Nothing... none of the crazy movement I felt with Ben.

I know the baby is fine because I can check in on the heartbeat and, like I said in a previous post on this topic, when I do that, I can HEAR it move and kick. Why can't I feel it though? I'd be lying if I didn't say it worried me a little bit... if for no other reason than it's not how I experienced things before.

Part of it could be that I don't really have the time to be still and quiet and concentrate on what is going on in there. With Ben, I sat at a desk all day and felt every little thing. I dunno...

I just wish the kicks would start!!

Everyone once in awhile I wander by the third bedroom upstairs and think, "I should really give the nursery some thought...." But then I think how first, I have to figure out a way to absorb a bookcase, a table, a computer desk and all its computer accoutrements, and a filing cabinet, as well as all of the contents of the closet somewhere into the rest of my house. And then I close the door and decide to think about it another time.

My current excuse for procrastination is that we don't know the sex of the baby. But I can't use that excuse for much longer. (Speaking of which, I just realized that since we are not going to share the sex of the baby, I won't be able to post pictures of my nursery and I'll have to keep that door shut when people come over. Shoot. Oh well... still not telling. ;) )

So yeah... I also need to purchase another piece of furniture, which is really the last thing I need in my already overstuffed house, but the baby needs drawer space and the matching armoire is staying in Benjamin's room. The changing table is probably going to get sold/given away since the dresser will double as a changing table for as long as we'd use one. (not long, we tend to gravitate toward the floor for changing purposes)

And then there is the problem of the closet... it's about 4-feet side with one sad little shelf. So I have to put in a closet system of some sort... (I'm not talking California Closets here, just Rubbermaid)

Too much to do... too overwhelmed to think about it all. Maybe after the holidays? Maybe after the baby comes? Can I just hire someone to think about it for me?!

Also, if anyone has any brilliant ideas for making the most of a very small space, I'm all ears. The room is only about 9x9!
Thankfully, I have neighbors who have used the room as a nursery, so I have some ideas as far as how to place the furniture. (it works amazingly well!) But clever storage ideas would be great!